Saturday.

Listen to that word. Say it aloud. Kind of rolls off the tongue.

Lovely. A 3 day weekend which means a 4 day school week that includes a half day.
Nice.

My dad is gone until Wednesday. He's in Santa Barbara helping my Uncle David move.

I have a ton of homework to do this weekend so I guess I'll start on that...

I'm supposed to go over to Lindsey's today too so I better call her to see what's going on.
I have no news. Nothing of interest to say. So I'll go now.
Maybe something cool will happen..

I'm at school right now, in the library. "Writing my essay" and bored.

And FREEZING.

I should be working on drama essay number 3, but I so can't be bothered. I found this one site that will make it really easy to do anyway so it won't be that bad. Take me an hour at most.

So now I'm just "free stylin'" as my little friend Nicki next to me says (she thinks she's black). She's watching an Eminem video on Launch.com. I am so surprised that she hasn't ditched yet. Usually by this time she is long gone off at the "bathroom".

I hate the kids in this class. And Palmer won't let me switch.
Its for reasons like this Ms. Palmer that they have not moved you into a larger office.
Until you do some good for your students, you will not get a larger office either.

As for the rest of the day-
This morning started off kind of crappy, but it got better. Mornings usually suck.
Today is Friday.
VIERNES!
Woo in 20 minutes I get to go home!

So close yet so so very far.

Quote of the day:
"I'll be your friend if you give me head."
"Um.... ah, no."
-- T Dawg with Stefi replying

Eh. School.


It's good.
It's bad.
It's everything inbetween.
I deal.

My teachers love me though. Makes me feel kinda special... in a dorky way.
Sandberg used my timed writing today as an example for the class. That was nice.

Went to drama club... Its amazing. I always forget about the freaks who go there. (no offense..)
Like, in the beginning of the year, you get a lot of people. Even some who are normal. The black box (drama room) was totally packed. By the end of the year though, all you have left are the ten drama freaks.

Usually, I stop going by the third meeting.

And then there's Mr. Bush who sits in the back like a little shrink taking notes on everything on a legal pad.
He is so weird.

Lunch was fun today. All T Dawg (I can't believe you actually got me to call you that, Thomas), Jenna, Meha, and I did was laugh. I needed that. We laughed so hard over nothing. It was like we went back to 7th grade. I mean, we were laughing hysterically over the sentence "He struck the hoe" from English during 3rd hour. We couldn't stop.

We are sad, sad children.

OMG, there was this terrible accident at school. It was fatal, at least one boy died. It made me feel horrible. The next few days will be hard for a lot of people at school. I'm wishing long life for their families.

Finished most of my essays. Less work for the three day weekend.

Ahhhh the three day weekend.
Those glorious weekends with the extra day.
Also known as the 'long weekend'.

Like havin' a little summer in the middle of a school year.
Thank G0d. It's only been two weeks, but I need the break. lol

Quote of the day:
"Haha. You said hoe!"
"What about Skylar?"
- Jenna and Stefi

You know- Today could have sucked.
But during 2nd hour I adopted the "I don't care. Whatever." attitude.
and it turned out to be a decent day.

Screw Palmer though for not even caring that I am hating school.
Karma Ms. Palmer. Karma. You could have done something nice. You could have helped me out, but did you? No. You didn't.

Oh and then, earlier that day I had a really nice funny moment in Sandberg's class. You kinda have to be there, but I said my funny bit and everyone laughed. It was really good. So I'm at lunch telling my friends about my glory back in 3rd hour when one of them, Crazy Eyed Meha (not to be confused with BROWN eyed Jenna lol DUDE I knew your eyes were green! I mean BROWN. BROWN.) piped up "I have english 4th hour (the hour after I have it) and Sandberg said practically that same thing and everyone laughed."

SANDBERG STOLE MY FUNNY LINE!
Amazing. And SHE talks about plagiarism.
Can I sue for that?


I finished most of my homework. Well, the immediate stuff.

I have 4 essays to write that are all due on Tuesday. It’s insane. INSANE I tell you!

A 5 page essay on Salem Witch trials for DRAMA?

Its true.

Oh well.


Cela est la vie.

Today seemed very Monday-ish to me.
I'm not having the best time at school... Hopefully it'll pick up. I don't know. I spent last night venting to Matt and D Man (thank you Matt so much for listening to all of my garbage. I know you didn't want to hear it for the 80th time.) and that helped a lot.. just letting it go.

I don't really have anything interesting to report.. Hopefully, if Palmer doesn't cancel again I can get drama switched (PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE) but the lady at the front desk was like "What did you need to see her for anyway?" and I said I wanted my classes changed and she said "Which classes?" and I said (being the dumb person I am) "My electives" and she made this face like "Ooooooooooooooooooooo another one bites the dust!" I'm sure she would have grabbed her crotch and spun around with one finger in the air too if she could have.

I'm off to do my homework. The fun never ends in the Land of Stefi.

Monday Monday... Wasn't actually that bad today...

1st hour- Rick was trying to talk to me.. I can't really be bothered with him though. Dude, his eyes are so nice. They are like, this really deep blue. That's something that he can go by, but I found out that he smokes (could smell it on him. ICK!) and that's not cool. Smoking isn't on my list of must haves for potentials.

Second hour.... nothing. Chem.
Third hour- English. Everyone who read my article on Jenna thought it was good so I'm pleased. I got a 50/50 on my letter essay thing too. So that was good.

fourth hour- I think I fell asleep... oh I took a quiz. lol It wasn't worth anything though so its ok. Sturgell is sooo boring omg!
5th hour- today at lunch, my friend Jenna was sitting with me and she was making fun of me for having cold chicken (she's a vegan) so when she wasn't looking, I tore off a piece of chicken and put it into her bag of nuts and what I think was supposed to be fruit. We laughed, we cried, she threatened, I took the chicken out.

6th hour was geometry and I doodled in that class because we were just going over the homework for the 50 minutes of class. I drew a nice rendition of my chemistry teacher Mrs. Rosenberg if anyone would like to see it.

7th hour my skit totally rocked... but I'm still gonna switch out I think... Just because I am teacher's pet is no reason for me to stay in and suffer.

I dunno. Dude, my day was all happy and then I came home and a few choice comments totally threw me off kilter so now I'm like in this mad/sad mood that sucks. I want to cry and possibly smash something all at the same time and no matter what I say, I can't get rid of these feelings and when I try to talk about them, people just get mad and defensive. I tried listening to music and everything but I can't shake it. Uuuugh I hate feeling like this. I'm off to go do homework and try to be happy...

Today- not so decent....

I dunno. I was tired and I felt really depressed and angry today. Maybe its lack of sleep.. I can think of a few reasons why I felt the way I did today. These are reasons non of you guys need to know... much less care about I'm sure.

Drama was... boring today. Spoke to Rick more. Turns out he kinda has the personality once he opens up.... but no looks.
Yea, he's just not cute anymore. I can't tell you why, but he's not. He has the Monet Factor sadly.

Told Rosenberg I was a Jew Girl today. I think she had multiple orgasms. I did it in a really sly way too as she was walking past my desk.
"Mrs. Rosenberg?"
::stops reluctantly.:: "Yes?"
"I just wanted to know if you'd ever have labs on a Jewish holiday because that would mean I'd be absent."
"Oh, oh! You! Ah! hahahaha! Not to worry at alllllllllllll. ::begins to whisper:: If you're not going to be here, that means I'm not going to be here! ::laughs:: "
"::I fake laugh too::"
"Did you know that we don't really miss any days this year?" (look how she grouped us up there. We're a team. We. Me and her. The Jews.)
"::fake interest:: Really?" (I'd swear here if I could. I can't though. But you know what I'm thinking.)
"Yea. All of the holidays fall on a Friday or Saturday and we have Yum Kippur Monday off!"
"That's great! (No, its really, really not.) Last year, it seemed like I was taking off every other day."
"Not to worry this year! Yea, I'm glad you asked about that!" (translation: "Oh thank G0d another Jew!")

So yea. Came home- crashed for 2 1/2 hours. And here I am...
I'm gonna go like.. write in my other journal now. lol the one y'all can't see...

Another decent day.

Surprised? Me too.

Nothing really happened though.
Cute guy still doesn't have a personality.
My spanish name is now Margarita Sparer.
I'm kinda wishing I picked Eva. You know, like Eva Peron.... no one knows who that is but me? Dude, you know, Evita? C'mon. MADONNA was in that movie....

Picture day. The guy who took my picture was rather jolly. He kept saying "Great smile, -insert kid's name here-!"

Matt and I decided we're not going to swear for a while.
I decided I would call this SWEAR FREE FOR ME.
I dunno, I'm bored. I just made that name up. Maybe I'll make a pleasant graphic for it tonight?

Annnnnnd not much else really...
Homework... a lot of it.. and I'm not sure I even really understand the math HW cuz I kinda spaced out for a while... I was drawing instead of note taking. Yea, I know- really clever considering my history in math.
I'm off to go start on the HW though.. If I need help I can call people.

Dude, today was actually like.... decent.
I am as surprised as you are.

So first hour- Spanglish. I spoke to cute non-personality boy. His name is Rick....
For homework we have to pick out our Spanish names. I'm thinking Margarita because they don't have an equivalent to Stephanie in the Spanish book and I'm not about to pick Sofia. Plus, Margarita is cool. Its also a popular alcholic beverage commonly served at single women gatherings.

Second: Chem- Rosenberg's going down.

Third hour is English 3 A/H/Pre-IB I love having that entire title. That's awesome. The class is also cool. Sandberg kind of reminds me of this old teacher I had, Mrs. Hunton.. I only had Hunton for like.. a month though because she decided to go have a baby on my honors class.

fourth hour I nearly fell asleep in Strugell's class...

fifth hour- lunch time was good today. But dude, Jenna, if you're reading this- buy some real food. Don't go all back to nature on me. You should start eating meat again.
Veal is good. Repeat. Veal is good.

Actually, I'd never eat veal... so you don't have to, but eat chicken. Chicken is good. C'mon.

6th hour- Geometry. I was so nervous about it. Its a math class. I suck at math.. but this student teacher in there was teaching us today and she actually did a good job. I actually understood what was going on. I surprised myself. Have you ever surprised yourself? Its weird.

7th hour- the Dreaded Drama Class
Dude, this teacher is like... so gay. Anyway-
OK, so like, I had to do this "A/B" scene with this girl Nickie. That's when its like, just simple dialogue and you take it and interpret it on your own. So we did this thing about how she thought she was Canadian and it was really funny. (And cleaner than this thing a Newbie did about masturbation. I won't even explain it. It was disgusting.) And like, usually, in the middle of scene.. sometimes not even in the middle, but two words into a scene, the Mr. Ilikeitintheass will stop you and make you start allllllll over again.... about 20 times until YOU get it the way HE likes it. Well, with us, he let us go and we did our thang and he came up to us and he looked mad and urgent, and he was like "You know what girls, I need to see you after school. We need to have a chat." and Nickie and I were like, What the hell did we do?! We thought we were in trouble and he wouldn't even explain it to us when we asked him. He just said it had to do with our performances and that he'd explain after school. I was like OK....

Nickie was going off about how she would totally tell him off if he went mad about the Canadian thing. Mind you, she said this as she was checking out her make-up... but whatever.

So... we stay after school and he takes us into this little office that's in the drama room and he closes the door.
"This is it." I thought "He hates us. He wants us out. I bet you he's Canadian. Hey.... if he kicks us out.. that means I won't even have to see my counselor about changing classes.." (See, there's an upside to everything.)

"Girls," He starts out. "You both have so much potential. I see you and I think you two will make fine actresses."

You have got to be kidding me, Method Man.

"You seem like you have so much more experience than the others."

Um... what? Dude... no.

"When I have plays I definitely want you two to be in them. I want my friends (he has friends?) and colleagues from L.A. and New York (why the hell would they come here?) to see you two (Casting agents? At a HS production? What is this, Waiting for Guffman?) and think "Wow! Look at them! They are great!" Not just great for highschoolers or good, but KILLER! (He emphasized the "killer" bit.)"

At this point, I've noticed that when he talks he kinda sounds like he is clicking something. Like he has too much saliva and its sticking to his mouth when he talks. Its gross. I almost gagged. I tried not to concentrate on it.

"We have ::click:: a drama club ::click:: and it would be fabulous (yes, he used the word fabulous) if ::click:: you joined us. Also ::click:: during the ::click:: year ::click:: we have ::click:: many pro::click::ductions that we will ::click:: be performing. I'd love ::click:: you to both ::click:: check it out. If I train you, you will be the best."

He's insane. He's a fucking method actor for G0d's sake.

Nickie and I left.
We both agreed Mr. Ilikeitintheass was gay and weird. We would not be joining drama club. I joined last year and explained to her the freaks that were in it. We don't need that.

We had no idea if we had real talent or not though. Sure HE thought so. But to us, he was a freak. So should it matter?

And dude, now, I can't leave his class. I'd feel so bad. And I really want to leave that class! I don't even care if Rick is in there. I want out.

So, eh, yea. That was my day. I'm tired now... I think I might nap..

Well, today was better than yesterday...

Still not like... a GREAT day... but... good. Good.

Sure.. I smashed my camera and my foot... but its all good in the hood.

Lunch time, let me announce to the audience, sucks. I'm not kidding. I mean, think about it- 2,000 high school aged kids crowded into one main room. There has to be some kind of fire code law thingy they're breaking there. Has to be. I hate it. lol

"But you can go anywhere on campus!" Yes, but a majority of the people choose to stay in the cafeteria.... That's a lot of people. I wonder if the school superintendent knows about this? I bet you they have no idea that this kind of thing is going on. Someone really ought to notify them. And its not like kids are gonna stop ditching either. If some kid wants to ditch, they're gonna ditch.

(Quick little note to all ditchers- They never check the auditorium halls)

What else? Oh, dude, I sit next to this hot guy in Spanish (Yes! No more Whitney!) and I realized today, he is also in that drama class I hate o so much. That was kind of spiffy.. I have to wait two weeks until I get switched out of the drama class.. ugh.

I have so much homework its not to be believed. I finished math during drama which was nice (what else was I gonna do? Sit and watch my "trained at a dog kennel" (as Matt keeps saying) teacher give pointers to a bunch of newbies who should be wearing helmets?)


So yea, I'll go do that.. the homework thing. Maybe I'll get done by 10 PM...

Oh my G0d today sucked.

Like, fucking majorly. Ok, so like first of all- Matt doesn't have second hour chem A. I like, specifically messed with my schedule so that we had it second hour together.. whatever.

Next-
The other day I made a list of 9 people I didn't want to have a class with- I have a class with about 5 of those people and the other 4 hugged me today. Ick. I only allow certain people to hug me. I don't know how many fake "Oh my g0d! I haven't seen you all summer! Hiii!! ::girly screams::" I did today.. I lost count. (Jenna, yours was NOT fake. I was so relieved to see you, you have no idea.)

What else? Um... oh my hair looked like shit. It did. I'm not kidding and everyone was like "No, its cute!" Except for Heath who's sitting next to me and has reminded me that he said it looked "perfect" which, no, it totally didn't. But thanks for the over exaggeration Heath. It made my whole fucking day worth while.

And now I have a ton of homework and its only the first day. My G0d. I swear.
You know, I went in thinking this year is gonna be awesome. I was excited (and panicky....) This year was gonna be great- and here it is a major suck and blow fest.

SUCK AND BLOW FEST 2002

Ugh... I think the worst class has to be drama.
I love drama usually but this teacher is a major ass. He's a method actor. He's one of those guys who says things like "You are an ice cream cone! You are cold! Bbbbbbrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!" Only, actually, I was the 7 year old child who was tired. "Feel the yawns creeping up on you!" Yea... ok.
I hate him.
Plus, I think his hair is totally fake.

Toupe not a toupe?

And the kids in the class are just... ugh. Ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh. One is so fucking obnoxious and there's another one who's just frickin' weird. I don't know whether to stick it out or change classes.

I'm pretty sure Matt's mad at me... I was annoying today so whatever, but to pass right by me in the hall and not acknowledge me? That just really pisses me off.

And I'm tired. I am soo tired. I went to bed early. I did a good job at that. 11 PM. Yes, still in the PM realm of the night. That's pretty good for me. And I fell asleep almost right away, but then I woke up at 3:30 (or 3:21 AM to be more specific.) and I could not fall back asleep. So basically, I stared at my alarm clock until it went off.

What a way to start the day...

There's always tomorrow....
So I can go through the same thing allll over again- only this time I know what to expect. Oh joy.

Please g0d- Let the school burn down. Or blow up.... or something. Wait... if you're gonna blow up the school- do it after tomorrow so that I can take my graphing calculator out of my locker. Thanks.




When you say that its gonna be/it always turns out to be a different way/I try to believe you

Tomorrow is a different day

Give me a little time/Leave me alone a little while/Maybe its not too late/Not today.

Maybe tomorrow/I'm not ready/maybe tomorrow

And I want to believe you/when you tell me that it will be ok/yea, I try to believe you/not today

Tomorrow it may change/tomorrow it may change
-- Avril lavigne

Today. Today is my last day of freedom. Tomorrow begins the school year.

School.

School is where I will spend the next 10 months of my life.

I'm not depressed about it or anything though. I'm excited... and terribly fucking nervous.

"Why?! You're not a newbie anymore! Everything will be fine and you know it!"
Yea, ok, I know.... so why am I so nervous?

Everything. Everything is freaking me out.
Let me just run down the list:
Hair: My hair looked great.... Yesterday. Yesterday when the guy at the salon did it.
Today it looks like I did it. The flipping out that its supposed to do is next to impossible! I spent 12 years of my life (seriously) trying to make it so my hair DIDN'T flip out. The ONE time I actually want it to flip out- it won't... well, it does, but not how I want it.

Clothes: Does my hair style go with my clothes? I'm not sure. I have no idea.

People: What if I have people I hate in my classes? This worries me almost the most (this and the hair. I am obsessive with my hair).

So as you see- I am insane. And I think WAY too much.

If Matt's reading this he's thinking "Finally she admits this. I'm sick of telling her."

But yea. So today was spent at the Phoenix Art Museum and freaking out. (My dad thought my sister and I needed some culture today.)
The art museum was fun.. I actually like stuff like that. I love European art. The really old stuff from like... the 1700s. I mean, I'm not an expert on it or anything. I couldn't really give you artist names, but I love looking at it.

Oh, getting nervous again..

I'm gonna go try to calm down and watch Sex and the City. I tivoed it because it was on while I was doing my hair.... my hair.. my poor hair. I pray to G0d it looks good tomorrow. Please, please, please let it look good tomorrow.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Well, today I FINALLY got my hair cut. I'm really happy with it. It's all flippy and cute.. and I'll stop now..

Yesterday, I went to a phewnural. (My own spelling. I thought putting the word 'fun' in 'funeral' was just cruel!)
It was for my neighbor... I wasn't exactly happy to be going. Phewnurals aren't my favorite thing in the world.
At first, I decided that I wouldn't show emotion at the phewnural. Just hide everything because its easier to deal that way. I didn't know the neighbor that well.. To be honest, he upset me. He was old and had had strokes and stuff and I never really understood him if he spoke to me. It felt safer to me to sort of.. stay away from him. So I did and spoke to him only when I had to. I never felt bad about it until now. I heard all of these stories about him when he was younger. How he built up this company and was invited to the white house three times but never went because he didn't want the recognition. He was like, this amazing guy who helped so many people. And I was too stupid to even have a decent conversation with him. The last time I spoke with him was about.. two months before he died. And he like, took my hand and said thank you for always being so nice and caring. And he told me how I was growing up.. It made me so sad. I just wanted to leave right away. I should have stayed.. I should have talked to him. I never did.

Half way into the phewnural I was trying to block the crying people out around me. My dad was crying, my other neighbor, Heath's Mother Suzette, was crying. All of these older people- crying their eyes out. I couldn't take it. I was sad.. but I couldn't cry. He wasn't family. He wasn't close to me.... but seeing these people made me feel just horrible.

After that I was kind of feeling tense, like I couldn't move. There was sadness all around me and it made me feel awful. Then, this man in a motorized wheel chair came up to speak. His chair made this kind of whiring sound that for some reason made me laugh hysterically. (I know, I know, I know.. but it was like.. something out of a Farley brother movie.) I couldn't control myself. I couldn't stop. I just laughed and laughed. I laughed silently at first but then it escalated into fits of giggles that I tried to smother into a tissue to make it sound like I was crying. My parents wanted to kill me, especially my dad, but I didn't care. The laughing relaxed me. I didn't want to laugh, but I did and after that, I felt a lot better.

The rest of the ceremony was nice. They had a bagpipe player (our neighbor was Scottish) and my dad said a nice eulogy and then I went to the reception for a little bit and came home.

I'm sitting here right now in a clay mask for my face because my skin has been so damn dry. I've been trying to drink more water and I moisturize and exfoliate like crazy but still, certain patches are dry. (I know how much you all care..) I'm hoping this will work since school starts Monday and you can't have dry skin for school!

I've been so worried about school. Thank G0d for Matt who's been calming me down at any sudden moment where I lose it. (I get a lot of those sudden moments..) I'd be in full craze mode if it weren't for him right now.... And my father just nearly burnt down the house.. See, this is why we don't like it when he cooks... I better go see what's going on...

Hey,
Well today I went to NCHS with Matty (Who drove for the first time by himeself! Very good!) and we decorated our lockers.

Ok, correction: Matt decorated his locker and I nearly finished mine..


It wasn't his fault he took all the tape... lol

We saw the Molester... well, her real name is Mrs. Moline but I do not like the woman and she doesn't like me either so it all works out. However, she LOVES Matt. I've never seen anything like it.

Here's how she greets me; "Well, hello there...."
Here's how she greets Matt; "HEY!!!!! MATT! Oh its been so long!"

Yea, not feeling the love over here.

Anyway, after we ran out of tape, Matt offered to take me home (A little eager to drive there. I bet he won't be offering in two months when I'm begging him to take me to the mall...) and being the brilliant child I am, I do not carry my own house key and my mother was not home so I didn't see the use of him dropping me off only so I could sit outside and wait for my mom to get home.. But Matty had to leave to go get his hair cut so I watched him drive off as I waited for my mother to come pick me up. Little did I know my dad was actually home so he could have dropped me off.. but that's ok.

Now I'm at home doing nothing- what I do best.

Stefi was born Bonnie Daw in April of 1987 on a farm in Northern Michigan. She grew up like any other farm girl; milking cows, plucking chickens, and drawing water from the creek behind the barn. In 1991, her Catholic parents gave Bonnie Daw up for adoption. Almost instantly, she was adopted by a Jewish couple based in Arizona. The couple renamed Bonnie Daw; Stephanie, or Stefi for short. She now resides in Arizona with the seventeen Mexican children that the couple also adopted. Stefi has blonde hair, blue eyes, and a C cup. She dances around a pole in a dark, smokey room for money every Tuesday and Thursday nights.....



Or at least... that's what I tell the people I meet on the internet.



Ok, truth be told: I am your average teen girl. I don't have any special powers (unless you count sarcasm) and I like to do things that every teenager likes to do- like.. nothing.

I go to North Canyon High School. Home of the Rattlers! I'm in the honors classes, but don't get scared! I know a lot of stupid people in those advanced/honors classes. I think I might be one of them actually, but my councilor and I are still looking into that..

If you check out my blog, I'll try to update it as much as I can with my daily events (ooo bet you are sooo excited!) and hopefully I'll entertain you a little at the same time.

P.S. Thanks Jen for your help :)