“Its like the great Gatsby is a giant penis..a huge, black penis.”

Back to school.
Its always such a culture shock to go back to school.. I find it difficult to get up around the same time I’d been going to bed during the break.

In first hour math, we went back to work doing nothing, which was nice. Basically the class tried to do their work as Jaime spoke about her Spring break. Same old thing.
I dreaded going back to Chemistry class.. For an entire week I didn’t have to think about Rosie.. but.. there she was, overly perky just waiting to give us a million notes on the periodic table (and the menstrual cycle.. Learn something new everyday….).

English was fun. Sandberg demonstrated how a grasshopper jumps and took us down memory lane when she used to tattle on her brother Greg who apparently liked to fight down at the Lutheran Church. Oh yea, and we worked on poems.

I fell asleep during sixth hour.. but shhh don’t tell my Spanish teacher. I kept pretending I had a headache and holding my head in my hands while rubbing it but secretly… I was sleeping. Eventually, my teacher noticed how I was sitting and asked me if I was all right. I told her, merely a small headache and that I should be fine, but thanks for asking.

Everything else was pretty damn boring..

Saturday (since I didn’t blog) I saw a preview of the new Amanda Byne’s movie “What a Girl Wants”. I thought it was really cute and I enjoyed it. Gets the Stefi Stamp of Approval. I suggest it to girls only however. Guys will probably just get bored with it after the first five minutes. Its very girly. Its about this girl who travels to England to find her father. I cried the last twenty minutes.

Sunday I worked a little on the movie script.

Yea, nothing exciting right now.
I’ll make some interesting stuff up tomorrow.

Quote of the day:
“I’ll tell you what’s a psychological thriller; gay porn!”
-- Lorenzi this morning when talking about psychological thriller movies.

“I can’t get over how pretty we are.”

Hello, hello.
What day is it? Friday. Aww…. Spring Break is almost over…
Well, wipe your tears away, and have a go at my blog.

On Wednesday, my mother, sister, Matty, and I went out and about to get a little bit of Arizona culture. We went to lunch at Rock Bottom and then headed over to the Rosson House at Heritage Square. I feel bad for Matty who we dragged along to places like… The Doll and Toy Museum. Yea, I’m sure he loooved that… The Rosson House, I think, was pretty cool though. We were the only ones on the tour, which was nice, but… kind of sad.. (Then again, it was on a Wednesday and downtown Phoenix wasn’t on Spring Break). Lucky for us, we had an authentic 108 year old tour guide who was actually alive when they built the house in 1895. OK, she wasn’t THAT old, but she wasn’t exactly young, and as we were going through the house she’d pick up something old (for example, an iron you had to heat on the stove instead of being electric) and say something to the effect of “I remember using these..” My mom, being the antique dealer/appraiser she is, appraised the woman at 3,000 dollars. No, I’m kidding again. But my mom was interested in all of the furniture and stuff. She kept getting really over excited and naming furniture styles (“That’s a Chippendale!” “Are these the original furnishings?” “This looks like Pine wood.. is it pine wood? It is pine wood!” “That’s amazing.. it barely has any damage!”) and asking the woman lots of questions about the house. Then, after 3,524 digital pictures and 10 minutes of film on Cameron… we left. (I will however, have a pictorial on this day.. I took way too many pictures.)

Later that same day, I went out to Desert Ridge with Andrew and we just did the usual dinner and Starbucks, Barnes and Noble thing. I have a few pictures of that too.

Thursday I went out to the mall with a Miss Jenna Stokes-Bass. Yes, its true! Jenna does leave her house every once in a great while. Just to show you how different we are; I bought a belt while I was there and Jenna bought a Newsweek and a book on George Bush Jr. And yes, she plans on actually reading that book. I can see the Newsweek.. that’s fine. My family gets that magazine along with Time and Entertainment Weekly and together with CNN, this keeps us well informed.. but a George Bush Jr. book? I don’t know if I’d have the endurance to read that. G0d speed, Miss Jenna. G0d speed.

While I write this, Amanda is in the Caribbean.
Stupid lucky bitch.

Total random thought:
Why is it that the Electric Slide has survived years and years and the Macarena died down? Both ‘dances’ are stupid, but… the electric slide people? I guess that’s better than the Chicken Dance though…
While we’re on this subject, why is it that years ago, people did dances like… oh, let’s say.. The Charleston, but now we do ‘dances’ like… The Train where we just run around going “choo choo”? Whatever happened to real fucking dances that took skill? I’ll have to ask Omaya. I mean, all we do now is grind and the train… that’s so sad. I blame Madonna.
(oh, and the Bunny hop is acceptable because it has the word bunny in it… and little kids are cute when they do it.)
Yea, I’m done ranting.

Friday, which is today, I have done nothing so far.
I plan on working on the moooovie script and avoiding my PMSing mother.
Maybe I’ll even get dressed. We’ll just have to wait and see.

Quote of the day:
-Matty, my mother, sister, and I are in a gift shop-
Mommy: “Does anyone want anything?”
Matty: “Maybe a hug from you.”
Mommy: “Awww”
Stefi: “Kiss ass. You make me sick.”
-- Matt looking for another excuse to touch my mother while we were out.

“Home”

I got bored tonight so I was looking at photography from about the last 150 years. Yes, on occasion I forgo the midget porn to look at art and give myself some culture… Anyway, I just realized that a lot of time, in the artsy art world where everyone wears black and carries around a poodle and cigarette and yes, I realize, this could be France too... but, we're going with "art people" in their artsy art world… In this artsy art world anyone who is stick thin, naked, and has an ugly face is beautiful and anything naked or plain and ordinary is very deep and means a million different things as long as you title it something.

I might just see an ugly girl’s boob, but as soon as you title the photo (which to be more dramatic and have more of an effect is black and white) it means all sorts of things and of course, art people (who are usually insane and dress terribly and/or are gay) always see what the photographer means and always notes their use of shadowing. When really, its just an ugly naked girl without an ounce of emotion standing in front of an open window.
This little emotionless naked splendor can bag them a million bucks, baby… even if its just a 16 by 16.

Guy in black beret at art gallery: “What is it titled?”

This picture of a boob was probably taken by the pervert of a photographer Bernard spying on his next-door neighbor who was just about to take a quick shower.

Bernard (all of Bernard’s lines are said with a fake French accent): “It’s titled ::dramatic pause:: Hoooooome. ::elongates the O for emphasis::”
::Crowd claps and snaps while nodding in approval::
Guy in black beret: “Oh yes… I totally see it. Very deep, Bernard. The best I’ve seen from you yet. This is right up there with the rotten tomatoes you shot on a wooden table in Venice last year.”
Bernard: “Yes, ‘Old Vegetable, no wait, fruit’ was among one of my favorites as well.”

Art is fake people.
Most art photographs anyway…

Art has to mean something.
It has to make you feel something..
I’m sorry, but looking at a piece of lint on a grey floor is not art to me. Its trash someone didn’t sweep up that some random guy with a fake accent in black took a picture of and is making money off of by selling little 8 by 10 unframed copies of it.

One more thing in art; you never see fat girls really… because if you’re fat then it isn’t art.
Its just gross.

These artists think of nothing new though.. for the past 150 years they’ve just kept repeating themselves and calling it new. No one comes up with anything original, but everything, of course, is ‘brilliant’.

While we’re on the topic…
You could have a picture of a single glass on a windowsill and it will be seen as the worst. Awful. The type of thing you’d see at a K-mart for $3.99 in the middle of hick country and then two months later, have one major ‘artist’ say they like that picture, or one very similar to it, and suddenly it’s the hottest thing.

I bet half of them hate it, but want to look cool, ya know?
I mean to me, with art, not just photography, but all fine arts, like drama, music, painting, its not good unless;
A. it shocks you
B. you can relate to it
or C. its just pretty
Pretty, that’s another thing..
I think when things are pretty, you usually have to relate to it or associate it with something on some level. It’s the same for what makes something ugly. You relate it to something you know somehow. This makes it more attractive or hideous to you.
But these are just my thoughts so feel free to ignore them.
I just thought I should go off on something other than the war, which is a very popular topic at the moment…

Whew.

What just happened? I blacked out.

Sunday afternoon I went out with Lindsey and Andrew.
We didn’t really do much. It was like a Friday night on a Sunday… Boring really.
Monday I went out with my mother and then came home and did nothing.

Yea, its been a really exciting spring break so far. I can hardly contain myself.

Quote of the day:
Stefi: Maybe, if she just blew herself up in the middle of Time Square, it would make more of an anti-war statement.
Matty: lol
Stefi: "people die in war! Don't go to war! Peace" ::ka-boom::
Stefi: She can get AFI to play too.
Stefi: It can be some sort of festival.
Matty: lol
Stefi: It'd be a big statement and probably get her more air time than a protest.
Stefi: because
Stefi: Anyone can protest
Stefi: but it takes a real bad ass to blow themselves up.
Stefi: Plus, great publicity for AFI.
Stefi: double trouble
-- Me making fun of our friend Bridget because she’s totally against the war…. Only she doesn’t know why.

“Why are your fantasies about my life better than mine?”

It is officially Spring Break.
Its actually been spring break about.. 2 days now.. But I haven’t written. Its not that I didn’t want to write its just that.. well, actually.. yea, that is why..

Where did I leave off? Wednesday?

Not much happened the rest of the week…
There was a lot of talk about the war.
Its pretty much everywhere you look. Even my blog now..
I suggest if you want any info about the war you talk to a Miss Jenna Stokes-Bass. She’s a walking plethora of war/government knowledge. She’s gonna be president. You heard it here first.

Friday was so slow. The day just crawled by. When that bell hit 2 PM I was never more relieved. Not just because it was Spring Break, but also because Mr. Bush was dressed in Leather pants, a suede jacket, and sunglasses and I was having a hard time not being able to say anything about it. Man has ears like a bat.

Friday night, in support of my friend Amanda (and yes, you too Preston), I went to the school production of Words and Music. Its two hours of my life I’ll never get back.
But Amanda was great (as was Preston).
Actually, it wasn’t that bad. I had fun watching Rosie hog the stage in her dance numbers and watching all of my little friends singing and dancing their way into the hearts of all twelve people (10 if you don’t count the couple in front of me who DID NOT stop making out throughout the entire thing) who came to the show. It brought a tear to my eye. It did. Such a great moment.. I even filmed some of it.. (but just so I could black mail people later.)

Saturday I went shopping and played with the Canon elph (who I named Leroy) my mom bought. I love Cameron… I do, but Leroy is awesome too. I’ll probably end up using it more than my mother.

And… that’s pretty much been my Spring Break so far.. Nothing really exciting. If you want exciting, read Jamie’s blog……

Quote of the week type thing:
“Why would the B-52s drop bombs on people? Don’t they sing Love Shack?”
-- My sister Danielle being oh so innocent when it comes to warfare.

"I'm gonna grow up to live in a shack."

David Lorenzi has got to be, next to Matt and I of course, one of the funniest kids in our school.
I walked into the library this morning to a conversation about TiVo with David Lorenzi, Matt, Dustin, and this girl Amanda who we like to call Butch. David Lorenzi talked about how he knows how to change the hard drives in the TiVos so that he would be able to record a million and a half hours of television. As Matt said, he’s the only person who wants more tv. He followed this topic up with 10 minutes on how he knows how to hack into a cell phone so that he can get service anywhere (but can’t be bothered to buy the equipment he needs to be able to do this) and how (with a credit card swipper thingy mind you) he knows how to mess with the magnetic stripping of satellite television so that he could get every channel known to mankind. It’s a shame this kid’s genius is going to such unworthy causes..

Then Spike (you guys may know him..), Lorenzi’s long lost twin, sidled over to our table. They began talking about computer things so the rest of us kind of tuned them out when one of them, I believe it was Spike shouted out, “Oh yea? Well, your mom’s a tiff!”
“Your mom’s a Jpeg!” David threw back. The table (not THE table.. like Taylor’s site.. but, OUR table) was cracking up. How sad that we’d understand what they were talking about.
Matt now felt the need to chime in, “Your mom’s an AVI!” (Said like the author.)
The two computer whizzes stopped their ‘your mom’ fight for a minute and everyone turned to look at Matt.
“You mean an A. V. I.?” Spike asked.
“Yea, that…” Matt said. “I know its an A V I!” He defended himself.
All I could do was laugh. The boys went a few more rounds before the bell finally rang when Spike said, “Oh yea? Well your mom runs in DOS!”
I think Spike won with that one.

In Chem I found that Rosie was going for the Alanis Morrisette look. Kind of scary. Steph M. is so funny. Right after announcements she started to cough almost violently.
“Can I go get a drink?” she asked Rosie.
“Of course! Go!” Rosie shooed her out of class.
About a minute later Steph came back in and as she sat back down at her desk I noticed she had her lab book under her shirt…
“Sneaky…” I whispered to her. She didn’t have to get a drink at all! She just needed her lab book. That’s totally something I’d do.

Oh and yesterday in Chem (since I didn’t post yesterday), Daniel Thai said the word ‘fag’. I dunno, I just felt like I should blog that. Seemed appropriate.

Now for the feel good moment of this blog entry-
In fourth hour, after taking months and months of Matt Hall and Alicia Powers flirting, I finally got Matt Hall to work up the nerve to ask her out on a date and she said yes! AWWWWWW! Very cute indeed! And she was so happy. I felt just like Cher from Clueless. Now I just have to hook Ms. Sturgell up with a nice hot history teacher… Or maybe I should get myself a boyfriend first? Hmmm…. Tough choice there.

In sixth hour my Spanish teacher went over the word ‘Tocate’ and why its “bad” and “not good to do by yourself… but I guess better than doing it with someone else.” And then tried to end the discussion with this doozy of a quote; “Its bad to do…’that’ but, I’d rather all of my students do ‘that’ then be promiscuous. That’s what I told my children too when they were your age.”

That’s about it for my school day..
I came home and slept.
Oh yea, and America bombed Iraq.
Turn on CNN though if you want info on that.
This is a happy blog, so I’m probably not gonna talk a lot about the strike.

Quotes of the day:
“We just hit bottom.”
-- Matty after the whole “your mom” thing.

“So this is my plea, hear me out
I know your daughter objects
I simply can’t hold it in, I cant help but shout
"Jackie Sparer! Lets have hot wild sex!"
Nothing better than giving into temptation
I would give you feelings unlike any other sensation”
-- An excerpt of the poem “Ode to Miss Sparer” Matt wrote about my mom.

Jenna: Being a girl is fun.
Jenna: Being a girl around an attractive guy is twice as fun.
Stefi: especially when that attractive guy wants you bad
Jenna: I'm jealous.
Stefi: me too
Stefi: I'm jealous of myself
Stefi: is that possible?
Stefi: cuz it just happened
Jenna: hahah.
-- me when I was talking about Andy with Jenna.

"This is like the intermission of a.... a very bad.. But very real movie"
-- CNN anchor guy trying to be dramatic when he should have just been quiet.
Oh, and Matt tells me CNN spelled “mercy” wrong on their little headline thingy scrolling across the screen. This makes me feel better since I can’t spell to save my life.

“Want me to trade seats with you?”

Today didn’t really feel like a Monday to me. Then again, I was PMSing more than half the day. I should buy stock in Midol. That stuff is like a dream..

Anyway-
Not much happened today.

At lunch Rick Wood kept messing with my hair and finally, when I had had enough, I turned around to go crazy when he says, “I’d eat you.”
“What?”
“Yea, I’d eat you.”
Andrew seemed almost as traumatized as I was, “What?” he stifled.
“What? You wouldn't eat her? Look at her. Spread a little peanut butter on that shit! That's good eats!”
Andrew shook his head, “Dammit, you always get the good quotes of the day.”

I know I do.. and thus, why you guys love me so much.

It was raining during seventh hour so I decided that instead of staying in the black box, I’d go for a little walk down to the mall area and back.
That was fun. Preston ended up there too and on the way back to class he decided to pull a Gene Kelly and started dancing and singing in the rain. He climbed up on the light pole and was swinging around, jumping into puddles as I’m hugging myself with the hood of my jacket up because I’m freezing (but loving every second of it).
“Come on, Stefi Weffy!” he said as he took a flying leap into a giant puddle.
“Nah, I’m cool.” I said as I was shivering.
I love when it rains AND when its cold all at the same time.
Its so worth catching any illness.

Came home and was all PMS-y/Sleep deprived.
Napped and such. Took a Midol.
Felt better.

Read the news and noticed this little headline:
“Study: Marriage not key to happiness” on Yahoo!
Made me laugh.
Ya know.. I coulda told you that. But nooo it takes years of scientific study (24,000 people from 1984 to 1995, asking participants every year to rate their overall life satisfaction from zero (totally unhappy) to 10 (totally happy).) to figure this out. Scientists… ah, you make me smile…

Speaking of science and such, I took my Chem test today.
I studied my ass off so now all I can do is pray to G0d.

OK, that is all.
Quote of the day:
Matty: yeah
Matty: this chick
Matty: has huge boobs
Matty: like
Matty: she makes up for the other two
Matty: her boobs outweigh the others
Stefi: lol
Matty: so it all creates an equilibrium
Stefi: choice word there
Matty: i like to call it the balanced boob theory
Matty: where each female's bust size directly affects the others
Matty: so that a constant tit size is achieved when comparing all of them and finding the average
Matty: in this particular episode
Matty: the 2 smaller sets
Matty: and the 1 huge set
Matty: all end up to meet the balanced boob average of the fifth wheel program
Matty: lol
Stefi: lol
Stefi: you
Stefi: are such a guy
Matty: well cmon dude
Matty: lol
Matty: think about it
Matty: it makes sense
-- Matty talking about his Balanced Boob Theory

“Dude, why don’t we have our own TV show?”

Wow, Saturday was such a good day.

VTL meeting of course as we all know.
Hung out like, all day with Andy.
Ahhhh…. Andy….
And that was fun. That was nice. He’s so hot..
Let’s take a moment to remember just how hot he is.
OK. Moment over.
Wait, no its not.
Wait, ok it is now, I promise.

After that I went over to my Uncle Jason’s house and looked at the babies.
Family stuff you guys don’t care about occurred there.

I went home for a whole ten minutes before Matty came to pick me up.
Its official- we are now the coolest people in the universe (next to Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, David Letterman, Vince Vaughn, Jon Favreau, Christopher Guest, and Eugene Levy.). Ok…. So even if we have to share the cool points with the other people in the universe… we’re at least the coolest people in Arizona. That’s fair.

We went to Desert Ridge with Cameron (my digital camera) to mess around with it. We decided we would go up to people and tell them we were doing interviews for school and then ask them questions on camera like;
1. How many levels make up an electron cloud?
2. What determines the size of an electron cloud?
3. What is the definition of Hund’s rule?
We’d ask these questions knowing that no one would know the answers, making them look like total morons, and us look brilliant when we told them long, complicated, exaggerated answers (that weren’t necessarily correct… but sounded official.)

Then we thought to ourselves, geniuses that we are, why don’t we ask them sexual questions?
So we made a second set of questions;
1. How old were you when you lost your virginity?
2. What do you think about the Sponge being used as a contraceptive again?
3. Would you use the sponge now that its available again? (Impromptu)
4. Was it popular when you were younger? (Impromptu)
5. How many dates do you think is acceptable before engaging in sexual activity?

Armed with a fabulous camera and amazing questions, we went out in search of the perfect victim.

We found her at a kiosk selling… well, I don’t remember what she was selling.. but Matt thought she was hot and I thought she looked kinda like Madonna back in the 80s (but in a business suit). Her name was… well, names aren’t important, but she looked at least thirty-three.

She was perfect. We walked up to her.
“Excuse me?” I said, “Hi, we’re doing a project for our sociology class. I was wondering if we could interview you on camera. This would be seen by about 30 eleventh graders… and the questions are pretty personal..”
Her business partner’s ears perked up, “You don’t want to use me?”
“Well…. We’re just doing women right now.” I said to him, “but we can interview you afterwards.”
He laughed, “Ok.”
The woman agreed to do the interview and quickly fixed her hair before we began.
“How old were you when you lost your virginity?” I asked in a very professional manner as Matty manned the camera.
She thought for a moment, going through all the guys she’d ever been with.
“17.. yes.. 17.” She nodded.
“What do you think about the sponge being used again?” I asked.
She took her time to carefully craft an answer.
“I think its great.” She said, “I think it should be used along with the condom and birth control. Use as much as you can.”
“Was it popular back then [when you were younger]” Matt asked.
“No, no one really used anything at all.” She said.
“Would you use the sponge now that its available again?” I asked her.
“Oh, definitely.” She said. “Yea, I would.”
“Ok, and the last question,” I began, “How many dates should you wait before engaging in sexual activity?”
She was silent for a few moments and began shaking her head. “I’d wait at least.. oh.. at least three months before sexual intercourse.” She said, “Unless you really know the guy.. and you trust him. Then its ok.” She smiled.
“Thank you.” I said.
“Thanks.” Matt echoed.
“You’re welcome.” She smiled.
“Does your partner want to be interviewed now?” I asked.
He was watching the whole thing except for the last question when some guy came up to talk to him.
“No, that’s ok.” He said, probably nervous because he hadn’t lost his virginity yet and the first question was on that topic.
“Ok.” We walked off.
“Oh my G0d! That was so awesome!” I said.
“Dude! That was so cool!” Matt was just as excited as me about it.
The woman was so good and so into the interview.
It was quite honestly, the coolest thing we’ve ever done.

We searched high and low for another person to interview, but NO ONE would do it.
Bastards.
Some people were kinda mean about it too.. Oh well. That one woman made our night.
Anywho, I got home and then forced my dad to take me to Starbucks and then I sat my family down in front of the TV to watch the interview.

G0d dammit, we’re so fucking amazing that sometimes I just can’t stand it.

Quote of the day:
“What? You wouldn’t like it if I became your daddy? ‘Go to your room, Stefi!’”
“Oh my G0d. You are so disgusting.”
-- Matt joking about getting with my mother and becoming my father and then adopting me. Eww..

“You suck! And… you have a small penis!”


So I haven’t posted since Tuesday.
Its not like a lot has happened anyway.
Wednesday um… well, something must have happened.
Wednesday, if I’m remembering correctly wasn’t great. I think that’s why I didn’t blog.
Well, I guess one interesting thing did happen.

Ms. Sturgell brought in her Nazi memorabilia. But she’s NOT a Nazi. Her dad was in the US Army and when he liberated a concentration camp he brought home a bunch of German stuff. Big Swastika banners just happened to come in the package along with a couple guns (that she didn’t bring), medals (like the purple heart that he received), and some pictures. It was really eerie to see this stuff. She asked if I’d hold up one of the swastika banners for the class, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I could barely look at it. I mean, sure, I’d seen pictures of the big ass banners before, but to see a real one up close like that… it was just.. crazy. And I’m not just saying that because I’m Jewish. It honestly gave me chills. I didn’t want to touch it though. I couldn’t bring myself to. As amazing as it is to have this stuff and to learn from it, I felt like I was betraying Jews just by looking at it. You know, I honestly thought that when I was younger. I thought that just looking at pictures of swastikas was bad. I also thought that I was Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz.
I was a strange child.

Thursday was perhaps a little more interesting.

More Holocaust stuff in Sturgell’s class.
We were watching a movie on Auschwitz. It was really depressing and was mainly focusing on this one guy whose story was so upsetting. Anywho, I’m sitting at my desk, minding my own business during the movie, when what should happen?
My eye starts to water.
Not both. Just one.
Jews have allergies too, people.
Of course though, the class thinks I am now crying.
“Aww Stefi! Are you ok?” Alicia asks from behind me.
“Yea… My eye’s just watering.”
“You sure?” she was concerned.
“Yea, I’m good.”
When the bell rang signaling the beginning lunch, Ms. Sturgell asked if I’d stay after class.
I knew what was coming.
The Sympathy Jew Talk.
Oh…. I’ve had so many of these talks with teachers while growing up I’ve lost count.
“Stephanie, I hope this doesn’t make you uncomfortable. Are you alright?”
“Yes. Don’t worry Ms. Sturgell. I’m fine.” I reassured her.
“Well, don’t ever hesitate to ask for a time out or anything. If things get to be too much for you, I’ll be happy to let you have a bit of a break.”
I thought about this.
My people suffered a lot.
I think it would be like giving back to my Jewish Ancestors (even if it was only one generation ago) if I got to go to lunch 10 minutes earlier than my “Aryan” peers. Then I thought against it.
“I think I’ll be ok Ms. Sturgell.” I told her.
“Well, if you ever need it… Its there.”
She’s so nice.

Later that same day..
On my way to Drama, Mr. Bush came up behind me.
“Stephanie? Stephanie?” I stopped walking as he came galloping up beside me. “Are your parents divorced?” he asked me.
“Umm… no… Why? You want my mom?” I asked and then continued with “Or… maybe my dad?” (Yea, I know. I couldn’t believe I said that either.)
“Damn. No.” He said as he brushed his red hair aside in that whimsical way that he has. “I’m teaching a grad class and I want to have examples of how a divorce affects kids of all ages, so I’m asking my best writers if their parents are divorced so that they can write monologues for me to give to my class.”
I shrugged and said, “We can always pretend my parents are divorced…”
So yea, I’m gonna get extra credit for this. Woo hoo seeing that I already have like 100% in that class anyway.

Now onto today.

Took a math test where the girl who sits next to me copied off of me AGAIN.
I feel sorry for her. I really do. I should sit her down and explain to her how I’m dyslexic when it comes to numbers and that she’d probably get a better grade if she just guessed on her own.

After the test (since everyone finished within five minutes considering the test was a whole 4 questions long.. and only counted a total of 20 points) Jaime decided to see what kind of partier she was by taking a test in her Cosmo magazine.
Turns out she’s a raver.
Just thought you all might like to know or something.

Lunch was cool. I told funny stories and amused myself. I was kinda all hyped up due to my lack of sleep (funny how that happens). We laughed until we cried over my Late for Finals story, which, if you’re lucky, I just might tell you one day.

The rest of the school day was good, but pretty average.

I went out with my minions today and Ben G(r)ay.
I could lie and pretend that hanging out with Ben is grand, but then I’d be lying to my loyal readers and lying to myself.
I, and I dunno how many of you will believe this (and if you don’t, Amanda, Andrew, Eric, and Lindsey can back me up), was being nice (yea, honest) to Ben. I wasn’t being horrible at all. But he just had to have a face and basically ruined the entire evening. Nothing was enjoyable until he left. Yea, so, we all kinda agreed that if we’re all going out, Ben probably shouldn’t come with us.

Oh, and in other news, my cousin Larry died today. That was upsetting and completely shocking. He had been fine just the other day, but he had two strokes within 24 hours and died this morning in Paris (where he lives). Its so strange. I can’t believe it.

And so yea. That’s what’s been going on since I last blogged. Nothing much. I dunno how good this blog will be seeing that its 2 AM and I’m absolutely shattered so, again, if some of this stuff rambles on or doesn’t make sense, its because I’m tired.

VTL tomorrow.
Crap, I have to get up in 4 hours.
Why do I do this to myself?

Quote of the day.. no, actually, latter half of the week:
::insert annoying two minute monologue courtesy of Katie Davids::
::Ms. Sandberg looking at Katie with a blank expression::
“Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah. In one ear and out the other. I have no idea what you just said.”
-- Ms. Sandberg finally realizing what everyone in the Sophomore class has been talking about for the past two years.

“That was some freaky fast math..”


Everyone can go fuck themselves.
I’m not doing it anymore.
And now that I've got that off of my chest...

While I’m venting I might as well add that I do not force people to read my blog. I’m not standing over you saying, “Read this! Read this!” If you don’t like what you see, do yourself a favor and click the little x in the corner and I promise you, all of your problems will go away. Don’t complain to me about my blog. It might make you feel better, but I don’t honestly give a shit unless it’s someone I care about. If you’re anything else, then your opinion means nothing to me. I don’t write this to make people happy. I write it for myself. Like this little venting entry? Its for me. Its not for you. Selfish? Maybe. Do I care? Nope.

Ok, that’s it for me. Time for bed.

Quote of the day:
You already had one for today. Go read it in my other post.

“Why does this burn?”

For a Monday, I was entirely pleased with the day.

Chemistry was cool because we got to play with fire and really, who doesn’t love to play with fire? And different colored fire at that. That had to have been the best lab we’ve done all year. Also, was it just me, or was Rosie a little…. Giddy yesterday?

English was interesting. Sandberg was telling the class how she was making fun of Jewel’s poetry book at a bookstore.
“Jewel changed my life.” I joked.
“Oh.. I have that book!” Mandi stated from behind me not quite understanding that Sandberg and I were mocking the snaggle-toothed folk singer who lived out of her car.
“Figures…” I muttered and rolled my eyes.
“Yea, I really like it.” Mandi continued.
Poor girl. Getting her inspiration from Jewel…

The rest of the day was uninteresting and doesn’t require any blogging whatsoever. Well, unless you count the ten minutes in Spanish class when my teacher went off about Cape Cod. Yea, that was cool. I like when she takes up our time. It means less chances of her asking me to say a sentence in Spanish.

I hate talking in Spanish.

I can barely speak English, why would I want to speak Spanish?

I like to learn it… just don’t make me say anything out loud.

Today was not unusual in a totally ordinary way.

I listened, as always, to Jaime’s mindless banter in math class and then before I knew it, it was time for chemistry class.

Now, is it just me, or does Rosie treat us like we’re five?
“SUPPORT WHAT YOU SAY!”
Wow, ok, we heard you! But marking us down because you don’t like our opinions in an OPINION essay still has everyone a little worked up..
My favorite part of second hour today was when she yelled at a class full of advanced students and told us we had no idea how to write a WAC.
Good times.
Rosie makes me laugh every time she draws something and then says “Sorry, this isn’t to scale.” Because she means it.
Reminds me of Doc Brown from Back to the Future.
He said that every time he made a scale model of the De Lorean.
He meant it too.


Lunch was giddy. I was all worked up over this chick that was using psychiatric terms wrong. Ah.. stupid people.
While at my locker Andrew thought it’d be funny to shove me against it..
Yea, not fun because he’s freakishly strong.
Anyway, we were laughing about it and while we’re getting our giggle on, Matt’s ex G/F (and my former friend) walks by with Dereck Dillon and gives me the nastiest look.
Think… nasty, then multiply it by 10. It was a look a pure hatred. The kinda look I’d expect from… Janna, Mandi, or Crystal. But not from this girl.
I turned to Andrew, “Let’s spy on them.” I said because I felt very much like Harriet the Spy at the time.
He gave me a look, “Yea, and why?”
“Because it’d be fun…” I urged him, “Come on.”
We followed the pair a whole three feet from my locker to the Newspaper room where the two entered.
“Go look in the window.” I told Andrew.
As casually as he could he walked over and peaked into the window.
“They’re not doing anything… they’re sitting on a couch.”
So that was a bust.
I was hoping for dirt, grime. Something stank I could rip her apart for.
I turned up empty and went back to the library to mingle with my minions.

In other news;
The really annoying freshman kid who makes sounds like a dying squirrel now sits on the opposite side of the room from me in Spanish.
Hoo-rah.


Quote of the day:
Matt: ill keep that in mind
Matt: for those key moments in my life when the electrons around me get all..excited
Matt: speaking of which
Matt: i excited my electrons today when i got home
Matt: they were ready to jump pretty far
Matt: i must have hit at least the 7th energy level when i was done.
Stefi: Thanks, I’ve got a really nice visual right now.
-- Matt talking about his ‘excited’ electrons after I started talking about our Chem HW tonight online.

“They don’t take gays in the military.”

Hi there.

Saturday was boring. I sat around and played with Cameron and talked to Matt like, all day. I scanned a bunch of pics too, so I might put those up on the blog sooner or later. Be on the lookout.

Sunday, I kinda woke up moody.
Well, I had gone to bed moody, but I woke up moody too. Believe me, this is no fun. Before 2 PM I was able to get Matt into a bad mood (Or at least annoyed him to death) despite the fact that I was trying not to be moody. Sorry Matty.

Spoke to Amanda. We decided we’re both scared about the war. However, we tried to make it comical by thinking about Ramon being drafted. OK, I know this doesn’t sound funny, but it was. I mean, think about it. This kid tries to dress like Andrew, wears eyeliner, oh yea, and he likes boys. Now think about him in the army.
Comical mishaps ensue.
They always say that the element of surprise is a good attack method. How surprised would Iraq be to find the first gay male/transvestite brigade?
All of them dressed in bright blue shimmer-y uniforms, make-up, their hair done up like a dog’s dinner…
I don’t think Iraq would quite know what to do.

I think gay people like the army though with all of the manly men that enter it, and transvestites like the army because even army people use make up. That camouflage nighttime look thing they have going on. However, that is a bit slapdash, and transvestites do like a look that’s a bit more put together. I learned this from Eddie Izzard.

I apologize for the boring short blog, but nothing happened this weekend.
Enjoy your Sunday afternoon.

Quote of the day:
Daddy: “Can I play with your camera?”
Stefi: “Only if I can play with yours.”
Daddy: “Well…”
Stefi: “Then no.”
Daddy: “Excuse me! Who paid for this camera of yours?”
Stefi: “Actually, buddy boy, I did. But nice try. I’ll give you mad props for effort.”
-- My father wanting to play with my camera and forgetting that I paid for it with my own money after working very long and very, very hard over the summer answering phones and typing stuff up at Jaberg and Wilk/Berens/Kozub and Nussbaum law offices.

“What’s the point of your shirt, Lindsey?”

Well, I can’t really stress the horrific day I had today. I was angry all day. I still am kind of angry. Its sort of ridiculous…

A surprise test in math today woke me up.
OK, so it wasn’t exactly a ‘surprise’ I just forgot about it..
I think I did ok. The girl next to me totally cheated off of me though. I feel sorry for her. She apparently didn’t know that I am a moron when it comes to numbers.

Rosie went Keebler elf on us today and Daniel Thai tried to make a funny that even Rosie didn’t understand. It was cute in a way. To listen to Daniel Thai and his almost mechanical, yet at the same time maniacal, laugh.. Then Rosie decided to call on me about the quantum number thing and I wasn’t really listening (I was too busy fantasizing. That never gets old really.), but I did ok, because Stephanie Meisenhiemer helped me. I can’t believe she understands this stuff. It makes me so proud.

Everything else was…. Crap pretty much, yea..

Drama was… weird… to say the least..
The fake orgasms and the kissing…
That class is never normal.

Despite my day and my bad mood, I stayed after school. I don’t really know what possessed me. I hung out with Andrew and Ben and the other Ben.
Everything was ok except for well.. Ben..
But the bad Ben… not the good Ben.
Ben G(r)ay is utterly annoying.
Ben Strauber (who’s real name is Charles, no joke) is fine.

After that I left them so that they could do something for the Academic Decathlon. They were helping out with.. something, I dunno.

I watched the Parade of Geeks while I waited outside the school for my mom for 40 (yes, 40) minutes.

It was amazing how many terribly dressed smart kids were at our school today.
It was like…. The Nerd Convention..
I felt like a moron standing there waiting for my mom while they all passed me giving me these weird looks.
I saw a few of them trying to psych each other up for the interviews. One guy was quizzing his buddy and calling him names like “Stupid menacing fool!” Yea, honestly, I heard that one.

Finally at like… 3:45 pm, my mom picked me up and off we went to go get my camera from Target.
Only… Target didn’t have it….

So we went to Circuit City.
But they didn’t have it either…

So FINALLY we went to Best Buy.
And Best Buy (thank the Lord) had it.

Well, they had the better version of the camera I wanted actually.
But it worked out.

The guy at Best Buy really liked my mom and me for some reason and ended up knocking 50 bucks off of the price of the camera. That was nice.
So off I went to play with my camera.
And that’s what I’ve been doing since about 6 PM.
Being moody and filming things.
Fun stuff really when you think about it.

Quote of the day:
"I shall dub thee... Cameron of Canon."
-- Matt when I named my camera.
(Yes.. I named my camera…)

"You look like a nose ring kind of person.”

I’ll jump right on this blog.

Yesterday (since I didn’t write much yesterday) was fun.
Made my way through the day on what I think was decaf coffee… Although my mom swears it wasn’t..

We talked about clouds in English. That was cool. Daniel Thai went off about how one cloud looked like a distorted Russia and Italy.
Figures he’d find a map in some clouds while everyone else found things like… Space ships and lambs.. Or an angel in Siovash’s case.

Lunch despite my extreme fatigue, was interesting enough. We had story time, and Andrew told us tales of a far off place he called the Philippines. He’s been to this strange land on what he called The Family Vacation from Hell.
I personally called it National Lampoon’s Vacation to the Philippines.
He talked about how they didn’t have toilets that flushed, but they did have 12 super-malls and only one Andrew...

In drama I entertained the class with stories of my own and my insanely good Alison Hannigan (ya know, Willow on Buffy) impersonation. Kept me busy I guess, but if Preston asks me one more time to say a band camp line I’ll go mad. Its so old. Its done.

I came home and slept for two hours that afternoon.

Afterwards, Matty and I discussed our moooovie, which, slowly but surely, will get done. We decided however that our movie needs backing. It needs money. Funding. This the job of the producer, but since Matty and I are running this art school style, we basically are the producers… and pretty much flat out broke.

We decided that in order to raise money we want to get shirts (and possibly boxers… And Matt wants thongs but I really don’t think we’re gonna do that. I don’t want to be tacky. (Yes, Matt. Tacky.) ) with our movie logo on it and sell them. Please tell me if you’d at all be interested in this. We’re not gonna have them made if you guys aren’t gonna wear them.

And if you’re not gonna wear them… could you donate money to us anyway?
We might even let you have a walk on movie role!* Just give me some feedback on this, please.


Now onto today..
Today was a pretty good day. Yea, overall, I was very pleased with today.

Had a good-looking young guy as a sub for my math class this morning. Nice way to start the day off. I’ve never seen freshman girls fall over themselves like that before. It made me laugh.

Jaime’s babble today was about some old lady who came into her work and told Jaime all about how she was cranky because she was horny and wanted sex.
Mark it down ladies and gentlemen- March 6, 2003 was the day Jaime finally told an interesting story.

She barely spoke about Matt George today at all.
Hmm… maybe it was because of the sub?
Its so sick and twisted how I sit there and listen to her rubbish.

Rosie was dressed like a man today in chem. It made me wonder if she borrowed clothes from her husband?

Seventh hour was a little cranking….
Just drama.
Some people… I swear.

Anywho guys, I’m shattered and its 11:45 so I’m gonna go to bed.
Before midnight.
I’m so proud of myself.

If this blog doesn’t make sense.. its because I’m tired.

Quote of the day:
I’m so tired I can’t think of one.
I don’t know. Ask me tomorrow.


*Only if we like you and/or you are good looking.

"And hey, maybe next time, you can show up?"

Phase one of Operation D-Drop has been completed as of 06:28.
Phase two now begins.

“I APOLOGIZED!”

Hey Ladies and Germs, pre-ops and post-ops,
How was everyone’s half day? Good, glad to hear it.
And for those of you who didn’t have a half day- sucks to be you.

My half day was simple really.
It consisted of six thirty-minute classes of nothing, followed by a rendezvous with Matt and Dustin, and finally lunch with my mother and sister.

Jaime was up to her usual antics in math class. Today she came accessorized with new lip-gloss that she insisted on applying every 3 minutes and then preceded to talk about it during our lesson. Oh, and apparently Matt George has some kind of lip-gloss fetish where he wears it too? Yea..

The most exiting part of the day was probably when Rosenberg played with fire.
Honestly, all the pyro stuff makes me happy. I could be having a terrible day and that would have cheered me up. She used different elements and “excited” them to make the fire different colors. It was…. And I know I’m talking about Chem class here… cool.

Sandberg wanted me to blog that in third hour English, we wanted Thomas to head-butt Siovash, but he wouldn’t. Shame. Would have been a sight.

Oo random list time:
People Who Pissed me off today:
1. Thomas-
Hey Thomas, Fuck you.
“Your blog is stupid.”
Yea… ok, that’s why everyone reads it and tells me how good it is. OK, that makes sense. And I’m sorry… but how long did you keep your “gay ass” blog up? A week? Yea, that’s what I thought.

Even Sandberg thinks my blog is cool (and I’m quoting here); “Actually, its funny, Thomas.”
So you see, Thomas, you can go back to your grass hut in the swamp now.

Yea, that’s pretty much all for my list. Just Thomas today… But ya never know, there may be more tomorrow.

In other news that no one cares about;
Saw the hottest guy at Starbucks today. Oh yea, very nice. I thought you all should know.

That’s about it. I really have nothing to write at all.

Quote of the day:
None, I have to wait until Matt says something funny cuz I’m not in funny mode at the mo.

“Apparently The Captain is French.”

Greetings and salutations, welcome to another fun filled edition of My Blog.
Sit back, relax, and read.

Guess what? I’m not depressed anymore! Ahhhh I make myself (and many others) laugh.

Sunday was rather boring. I did nothing and then more nothing and Chem HW.

Monday was equally as boring.
Math class was Jaime sitting around reading YM (swear to G0d) and not listening to the teacher, but instead wondering out loud where she could get that “pinky kinda white-ish shiny” lipgloss. Oh yea.

Chem was boring.. Stephanie Meisenheimer (yea, like I’m gonna even try to spell her last name correctly) borrowed a bunch of stuff from Rosenberg to use as props for her English Shakespeare scene. This was the highlight of class.
Oh yea, and Rosie also went off about how we complained too much about our essay tests. I mean, it’d be one thing if our points were totally off, but for G0d’s sake, these were OPINION essay questions. I haven’t seen my test yet, and I’m happy about that. I really don’t even want to know what she thought of my opinions. She probably wrote something on my paper like “Just because you’re Jewish doesn’t mean I like you or your views on the Planetary Atom Model. –6” I would not be surprised.

English, also boring.
World History… Gandhi video. That was fun. Gandhi. Everyone go read up on Gandhi. As well as being a character on the hilarious MTV cartoon Clone High; he was actually a real person. Oh yes, he was.
Gandhi only had sex once and it was said that even though he pretended to be all happy and such, he was really a depressed person. I think its because he didn’t have sex on a regular basis. However, these are just my views.


(The views expressed on this web page are not those of Blogger, Blogspot.com, Pyra technologies, or Google.com and are solely that of Stephanie Sparer of www.StefiSpice.blogspot.com. Thank you)


Lunch was also…. Boring…
Oh, except for when I pretended to call Andrew’s dad and then watched Andrew get really angry for a whole 30 seconds until he found out I was just kidding. Fun stuff. Then the bell rang and I went off to..
Spanish- which was boring.
I was practically falling asleep in the class… and I would have if that really annoying freshman kid hadn’t been sitting right next to me making all of those irritating sounds. He sounded like a dying squirrel. That kid bugs me.

I’ll just skip right over drama since nothing happened.. this whole day was completely uninteresting.
Hopefully something good and exciting will happen tomorrow.

Quote of the day:
Matt: “9 ½ minutes.”
Butch (ok, ok her real name is Amanda Curran..):“9 ½ minutes to do what?”
Matt: “You, hopefully.”
Amanda: “Stupid question gets a stupid answer..”
-- Matt really talking about how it took him 9 ½ minutes to get to school

"call out the instigators. "

if you hadn't noticed i am depressed. not even Eric Clapton (of whom i am a huge fan of!!!) can help me now. that song 'tears in heaven' just put me into an even deeper state of upsetion. Eric clapton is such a great guitarist.its like i can feel my fingers playing the notes as he plays them. each one is so clear and beautiful and moving. sometimes i wish i played the guitar, but i don't. i am so stupid...... i hate myself.... i just wished people could like me for me you know? not for some honorary indian (which i am now by the way) but for me and stuff...not for the clothes that i wear or how i do my hair.. but me.. sometimes i wish people liked me. sometimes i wish i had friends. i sit and wonder why im a stupid bitch and when i finally come to a reason, i realize that i wish i could just do away with life and die. i wish i could take my own life.. not that i ever would.. but, i wish i could..... thanks for listening you guys. you're the awesomest!!!

Quote of the day:
"Horny hormones are happy hormones!"
-- Jenna Stokes being all..... happy and horny.

NOTE: I put more pictures up guys so take a little look when you have the chance.




Special Thanks to Matty (you are my muse) and Mandi.You guys are my inspiration.