“She so wanted me.”

Happy Weekend.

So far, not a lot is going on. But, come on, its me. So not a lot is all that’s ever going on…
Last night I was supposed to go out with some friends but that fell through, so after a quick escapade with Gdawg (The grandma I see once a year for a quick meal and a rundown on how school is (and if I’m lucky; five bucks.), I came back home and decided that I wanted to go to the movies. Due to the fact that A. Half of my friends were in northern Arizona and B. the other half couldn’t be bothered to go and had other friends, I decided to go by myself to see Thirteen.
Yea, but do you think Arizona is cool enough to even open an indie film here that’s NOT Bowling for Columbine (which they are STILL showing)? Of course not. So Thirteen wasn’t showing and I’d seen pretty much everything else I’d wanted to see. Instead I spent twenty minutes really debating on if I wanted to waste 6 bucks just to make fun of Ashton Kutcher and Tara Reid in what looks to be the worst film since the intellectual thriller Just Married.





This just reeks of comedy doesn’t it?
I blame the whole ‘real life couple’ bit for most of its failure. For more examples see Gigli. You’d be one of three people who actually did.




I decided since it wasn’t my money, that I would be able to spend the six dollars to see it.
However, when my mother asked me who I was going with, I didn’t think fast enough and instead came out with, “Well, would you like to go?”
In typical teenage fashion she asked, “Who else is going?”
“Oh, um, well, me. And….. maybe.. Andrew..” I hate lying.
“Just you and Andrew?”
“Well, me. For sure.” I said.
“You’re not going alone.” She said.
“Yea, that’s why I wanted you to come with me..” I foiled my plans of having a nice date with myself. I was crushed. Why can’t I lie to my mother like a normal kid?
“I can’t go. That’s unfair to Danielle [sister] and Daddy.” She explained.
I was desperate to get out of the house.
“Then can we go to Starbucks?”

I drove my mom [read nearly killed us both since I have a tendency to bear to the right…] to TCBY (because my sister decided she wanted yogurt and my dad agreed) around 8pm that night. I didn’t kill anyone though and was only beeped at twice so its all good. Here I am, safe and sound. Give me a break though, it was my first time driving on a major road at night. Ok, that’s no excuse, but I’m sticking to it.

At TCBY, we took a moment to collect ourselves after our near death experience (or if you’re going by Fight Club terms; near life) and then ordered from the lesbian cashier woman who WINKED at my mother. The winking wasn’t so terrible, it was what she said while she winked that was terrible.
“Well, you can always come back later.”
Ok, now that I think about it, that doesn’t sound so terrible, but you had to be there. It was a be there moment.

Nothing else is really going on. I’ll update if something interesting happens or if I think of something witty and/or clever.

Quote of the day:
“Now you have to swallow your mistake!”
-- My mother while I was swishing water on the way to the ortho’s office and realized I had no place to spit it out.

“Well, I’m glad SOMEONE has energy.”

So here I am.
At home.
At 12:03 PM.

“Early dismissal?” you ask.
“No,” says I. “Ortho appointment at 3:50.”

Yea.
So, I’m all jazzed today because I think my ortho appointment is for 9:20. I'm thinkin’ "hot damn I’m gonna get myself out of Spanish." Sweet deal in return for getting some spacers.

Cut to my home 9:01 AM when my mother actually looks at her day timer and says, “Jesus. Its actually for 3:50, not 9:20. Your appointment next week is for 9:20.” I just laughed. “Want to go back to school now?” she asked me.

Now, you tell me (and IB people are excluded.), if you didn’t have to be in school.. and you didn’t want to be in school.. and you had the option.. would you go back? Yea, me either.

So you know what I did? I took a three hour nap. And it was gooooooood oh.
I’m off to Starbucks.

Oh, and by the by; my mom isn’t letting me go back to school now because “Stephanie, its past noon anyway. All you have is English. Present tomorrow.” I’m really not gonna argue.

Bad person?
Yes.
But where were you this morning at 9:20? In class?
Yea, that’s what I thought.

And so the pattern continues...

See ya around, suckers*.



*Suckers excludes, but is not limited to those who get out before noon.


Quote of the day:
Mommy: “Oh.. my mistake. Want to get breakfast?”
Stefi: “If that’s the only way you can make it up to me.”
-- My mother today after finding out her mix-up.


133 days until I get John off.

”Tu boca es loca!”

What’s the deal with freaky kids hooking up with other freaky kids and then going out from their freshman year until they DIE? I mean, its sweet and everything, but its always the freaky kids. And once in a while you get that one couple that’s so sickening perfect too. The ones that do nothing but cuddle and make out between classes and then they break up once a year and everyone freaks out because they’ve broken up and then the next day they just get back together like nothing happened and go around getting their spit all over things.

G0d, I hate high school.
I swear, I’m not bitter..

School was worthy today. We didn’t have a power point in American History which didn’t make the class any more interesting, but it was still nice not to have to sit there watching it. I never know what’s going on in there anyway. I’m always half asleep. I got a chance to make fun of Catholics a few times today in class though. The student teacher laughed along with the class when I did, so it made me happy. I’d tell you what I said, but I wasn’t awake, so I don’t know.

In peers we watched a movie that was like, Saved by the Bell; The lost ‘very special’ episode where Slater and Zach are forced into Peer Mediation. It was basically a cheesy old instructional peer mediation video from the late 80s. I loved every second of it. It reminded me to start TiVoing Saved by the Bell again. Good show.

I’m forced to stay after school for a ride now. I cannot wait until I have my license. I was in the middle of talking to Andrew in the triangle when I heard some girl say “Hi, Mrs. Rosenberg!” Andrew and I just looked at each other and grabbed our stuff. I swear, we bolted out of there. Beyond bolted. We flew. Is flying faster than bolting? I don’t know. I just didn’t feel like being fake nice to her. I wasn’t in the mood for a stop and chat. A wave and walk maybe, but not a stop and chat.

Tonight at dinner, I was sitting there, eating (well, actually, trying to get the corn out of my palate expander without making a ton of unnecessary noise. There’s only so much a tongue can do.) when my mom goes; "Stephanie, your bust is getting bigger. Did you expand your bra for more cleavage?"
Yea, at dinner right in front of my dad and C cup 12 year old sister.
“Um.. no..” I said.
“Your breasts look so much bigger today for some reason.” She kept looking at them as she spoke.
I wasn’t so much embarrassed as I was surprised.
“Thanks Mommy.” I shifted in my seat.
“Really, they do. You shouldn’t complain about how small they are anymore.”
“OK THANKS. I GET IT.” I shot her a look.
“Ok.” And with that she went back to eating her steak.

And there you have my day.

Quote of the day:
“Oh yea, now I remember why I didn’t take drama this year.”
-- Me after I went to go visit Mr. Bush only to find all of the drama freaks gathered in one place.

134 days until I get John off.

“Hey, where’s the crème filling?”

So Friday, I forgot to tell you guys, we had our I Am projects due in English class. For some reason, most of my “advanced” (and I use the term loosely) class felt compelled to write.. well, I guess what they thought to be some deep, intellectual poems.
Yea, well. They weren’t.

Those poems. Oh my G0D, I wanted to cry.
Out in pain.

Some cheerleader pep squad oh look at me I’m so damn cute girl would go up and read a poem that would be like this all the way through;
“I am the deepest ocean/I am the sharpest tack”

Yea, well I’m fucking bored and I am wanting you to shut the fuck up.

“I am the air you breathe/I am the waves that crash”

You’re a fucking cheerleader, dude.

And of course, Murphy-Tick, g0d bless her, she’s the nicest thing, just loved every bit of it and ate it up like a fat girl on a chocolate bar; "That was fantastic, Tyler*! Gosh, some of you will really have to write for the lit magazine. Don't forget! The first meeting is this Tuesday at lunch! Very good! Who's next?"

My personal favorites were the ones where they tried to make it a contradiction. Mind you now, these are all in the form of “I AM this/ I AM that” because no one is clever enough to think of another format;
“I am the soft fuzzy blanket against your skin, I am the hard rock that hits you in the balls.”

No you’re not. You’re the same kid who peed his pants in my kindergarten class. I don’t see any mention of that.. where’s that?

I felt bad for the one kid who didn’t write a poem, Jose* who tried to be funny in class with some sort of speech type thing only to fail miserably. He went on and on about himself (which.. was the project.. but still, come on. Make it good.) and then decided to slip in 5 minutes about women and another 5 minutes about cars and then spend 2 minutes trying to combine them to make it funny. I felt for him.. I did.

Period 7 AP English, I ask only one thing of you;
Make this year the best. Write something… good. Or if decent is the only thing you can do, go for that. But.. try.
Please.

That is all. I’ll see you tomorrow.

*Names have been changed from Skylar and Josh to protect the innocent.

Quote of the day:
Stefi: I have too much fun talking to you. We should stop.
Matt: lol
Stefi: You're ruining my social life.
Matt: im a dick
Matt: im addicted to u
Stefi: I know, I know, but we should branch out and stop the fun
Matt: i wont have it
Stefi: its all too much for me.
-- Me just complaining to Matt that the reason I don't like other people is because of him.

135 days until I get John off.

“Fraser likes Dick.”

Summer is over.
School has started.

It’s not terrible. I really can’t complain… Yet.

Sure, all of my new teacher’s have their little quirks..
McClaren (my ex-nun Spanish teacher) says “amen” every day after we say the pledge.
Wilkens (my American History teacher) really, really loves her cats (and Theodore Roosevelt).
I have strong evidence (the hair) that my math teacher (Sheppard) was a former Nazi. She also has the same speech patterns as Gene Wilder.
Fraser (Rocks and Stars) hates freshmen (which I am not thank you very much.).
And Murphy-Tick (English) likes to mention the fact that I know Matt every two minutes. Plus, she talks really fast. (But she’s so nice. Everything is “great” even when its bad.) Oh, and she went to the same temple as I did so insta-bond there.

Speaking of Jewish teachers; Do you know how nice is it not to have Rosenberg this year? My science class is fantastic. I can actually enjoy the subject again. Fraser makes it fun, and at the same time, we learn stuff. She’s so passionate (in an un-Rosie type way) about her class. We do all of these cool projects and stuff and there’s like, no real homework at all. Our homework is date-worthy. We have to go look at stars at night. How cool is that? Be jealous IB students.

Unfortunately, we have Rachel “I’m crazy!” Taft otherwise known as Okimomo (her Japanese name..) in my class. She’s basically, insane. For instance, Fraser was talking about how there’s new evidence that the universe may be a box. Rachel raised her hand to comment and Fraser called on her unknowingly.
Rachel ::with hand movements:: “What if... once you were out of the universe.. there was like... some guy holding it up?"
You could see Fraser pondering to herself about how to deal with this one.
Fraser: “Oh wow, that just.. boggles my mind. I don’t know.”
Rachel continued; “What if like.. we're Pandora’s box?"
Fraser: “I just.. I can't even wrap my mind about that..”
Rachel: “What if there's a giant holding up two universes? And he's watching us?”
Fraser: “I can't even imagine! ANYWAY MOVING ON-“
And now whenever Rachel raises her hand, Fraser waits a long time to call on her.

I have a weird girl in my math class too.
Polly Paranoid sits right next to me and every time I go to look at the board she hovers her hands over her homework paper just in case I decide to take a look. Please, she’s a senior in an algebra 3-4 class wearing those plastic clear jelly sandals that I haven’t seen anyone wear since, seriously, the third grade. I didn’t even know they still made those.. in adult sizes no less.. . In any event, I’m not going to be taking a peek at her paper anytime soon.

Peers class seems like a lot of fun. It’s basically talking, helping people, and eating. So, in a nutshell- the best class. There’s just something magical about eating in class.. We’re not supposed to date other peers though. I don’t know if this could be a good thing yet or a bad thing. I’m still evaluating the guys in my classes.

We got a new guy in my American History class Friday. He looks like a mix between Haley Joel Osmont (sixth sense kid) and Edward Norton in Fight Club. I don’t know whether or not he’s good looking yet. Usually in that class I’m half asleep anyway. Why you ask? Because Wilkens has a fascination with Power Point presentations. Really, long, long boring Power Point presentations about, well I assume American History, but to be honest, I don’t know what they’re about. I go to class. I sit down, I know I take notes.. but later that day someone will ask me “What did we do in American History?” and for the life of me, I won’t know. I won’t be able to tell them. So I’ll look at my notes and I STILL don’t know. I’d learn so much better if we talked about whatever it is that we’re learning instead of sitting there taking notes. I’d never dare say anything to her though. She seems so attached to those power points..

We’ve already had a sub for half of this week in Spanish because McClaren went to her brother’s wedding so we had Mrs. Smyth as our sub. The English teacher who retired my freshman year. I don’t think she ever actually left the school. In fact, I think she lives there. I see her all the time, but she’s so cool. We spent the first 10 minutes of class Thursday having a name card tower building contest. Most of ours fell down, but there was one guy who was really good. Every time he’d add another note card she’d go “Ok, that’s it… just two more..” because she wanted to see how high he could get it.

So my first week wasn’t bad at all. So far, I’m enjoying school. We’ll see if I’m still singing my song in another week when the homework kicks in.


Quote of the day/week thing:

Angela: "Yea, they sell everything from games, to dolls.."
Stefi: " and towels."
Stephanie M.: "Stefi's like, "I have them all!"
Stefi: "No, not true…. I just need Lance."
-- Talking about Boy Bands ruling the universe at school.

Oh and check this out if you're bored;
E-bay Item

136 days until I get John off.

“YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO THIS!”

I’ve had my blog a year now.. and I was going to do this whole “Oh look how I’ve come of age blah blah blah” blog entry where at the end everyone would be compelled to comment about how it was a remarkable coming of age entry and really made them think and maybe how it should be turned into a Life Time movie.

Then I decided I couldn’t be bothered.

Congratulations to me for having the best blog ever.
I’m keepin’ it real, yo. I’m keepin’ it real.

It's been 365 days of pure genius.

Happy Birthday, Blog.


Quote of the day:
Matt: “I jerk a lot.”
::silence::
Matt: “I can’t believe I just said I jerk a lot…”
Stefi: “Yea, I heard it, and I wasn’t going to say anything.”
Matt: “That’s the quote of the day, isn’t it?”
Stefi: “Yea.”
-- Matt on our outing this week telling me about how difficult it is to drive stick.

145 days until I get John off.

“I can be so peppy when I want to be.”

So like, I know I could be talking about something worthwhile in this blog.. like.. the so –called war in Iraq or how great my hair is, but instead, let’s talk about Karin Robertson. “Karin Who?” You might ask. Why doesn’t she spell her name with an E? Does she go to our school?
No. No she doesn’t. But she’s dumb enough that she’d fit in just fine with the IB kids if she did.
Karin R. is the chick who works for PETA and changed her name legally from Karin Robertson to Goveg.com.

Yea, seriously.

Doesn’t that sound like something Mandi would do?
“You guys.. my name is www.EricClapton.com now! Duh! Total fashion statement.”

Ok, Karin (I refuse to call her GoVeg.com) I know you’re all for animal rights and everything, but I don’t see Jenna Stokes changing her name to EatMeatandNdie.com.
She told me she wouldn’t in this conversation online;
Stefi: Jenna, would you ever change your name to EatMeatandNdie.com?
Jenna: My legal name? No.
Stefi: ok

Wear a shirt if you’d like to promote your site and your non-meat eating ways.

That’d be like me renaming myself StefiSpice.blogspot.com.
I think the “.com” bit would replace my last name.. hmm
Anyway, so even though I don’t want to admit it, her name intrigued me and I fell victim to her plan and checked out GoVeg.com. Damn her. I did exactly what she wanted me to.

While there; I really wanted to eat meat just for the hell of it.
Is that wrong?
But I also found this;
“Every year in the United States, more than 9 billion animals are killed for food; millions more die of stress, suffocation, injuries, or disease in the food industry.
In his or her lifetime, the average American meat-eater is responsible for the abuse and deaths of some 2,400 animals, including approximately 2,287 chickens, 92 turkeys, 31 pigs, and 12 steers and calves.”

If we weren't meant to eat them- we wouldn't. Simple as that.

Poisonous mushrooms?
We don't eat those
Why?
Because they kill people.
Like guns.
We weren't meant to eat them.

And yea, I know I’m gonna get about 900 letters from vegetarians and vegans out there, but this is just what I think. I eat meat. I drink milk. And I like eggs.
Ain’t nothin’ gonna change that.

Don’t get me wrong though. I feel bad for all of the cows and chickens and such (but not so much the fish.. they scare me.). I did research (I always do) because I know I’m gonna get mail like “Do you understand that they live in dark sheds their entire life and blah blah blah blah blah.”
Yea. I do understand that.
I also understand that they taste damn good.
So I’m gonna keep my meat eating, gummi bear swallowing ways thank you very much.
Because I like chicken nuggets.
I like them a lot.
Maybe too much.
I think I could eat them every day.
Mmm.

I can feel the hate mail pouring in right now.

Anyway, Friday I went out and about with Matty Moe. As we do every Friday. This week we visited Crazy Jims Greek Restaurant- Home of the Jenna Stokes Look-a-like, The Oscar Mayer Weiner Truck (I thought it was a myth!), a midget cow (or maybe it was robotic, but either way it was scary.), Office Max, an ATM, and the Ritz.

My mother was a tad bit frazzled that day as we pulled up to the ATM;
She was having one of those ‘nothing is going right’ days.
“Oh hurry the fuck up!” She yelled to the white SUV in front of us in line at the Bank One. Not that the guy in the SUV could hear my mother, but I think it made her feel better.
“What the fuck are you doing? I’m going to hit your car.” She said. “I swear, I will hit his car if he doesn’t move.”
“What the fuuuck?!” She was getting even more agitated as the guy pulled out another card and stuck it into the machine.
One thing you should know about my mom, she rarely swears. So I knew she was upset.
“Stupid fucker! You better move! Move!”
At this point, she started to actually move her car up.
Lucky for her, just as she did, the SUV guy pulled away from the ATM.
“I just want you all to know,” she said, “that I had no idea that he was moving up. No idea.”
“Well that’s good.” I said more to myself than anyone else in the car.
You’d think the mayhem would stop there, but oh no. It didn’t.

“What the fuck?” My mother tried to shove her debit card into the ATM. “Why the fuck won’t you go in?”
At this point, Matt, my sister, and I, couldn’t stop laughing.
“Fucking ATM. What the fuck? WHAT THE FUCK?” she asked again and then finally got the card into the machine. “They put the screen too fucking high I can’t even reach.” She said as she readjusted herself in her seat so that she could reach the touch screen.
“I JUST WANT MONEY!” she shouted to it.
“Press cash.” Matt said to her from the back.
“Oh yea..” she said calming down a little. She pressed cash and her card spewed out of the machine.
“FUCK! I just want MONEY. FUCK!” she said as she forced the card back into the ATM.
“What the fuck is this?” she asked as money came out. “I don’t want 20s. I want hundreds!” she shouted at the cash in her hands.
I thought for sure at any moment my mother would started to smash her head against her dashboard. She turned back to the ATM instead.
“What the fuck?” she asked when she received more 20s. “Fuck.” She said and then signed. “Oh I don’t care anymore!” she began to drive off.
“Receipt!” Matt called out.
“Oh right.” My mom reversed the car and grabbed her receipt. “Thanks.”
“Yea, no problem. You ok?” he asked.
“I’m fine..” she said a little sheepishly as she pulled out onto the road.
“OH THESE FUCKING RAINBOWS!” she shouted. “Do you guys see these rainbows all over the place? The fucking rainbows are everywhere!”
“Oh my G0d!” I shouted out from my spot in the car next to Matt, “You’re insane!”
“I’m not! Fucking rainbows! I think its my glasses.” She took off her sunglasses. “Oh good. It is. Oh good. I thought I was insane.”
“Jesus Christ….” I sighed.
“Look, look through my glasses.” She said handing them back. “See the rainbow?”
Matt, my sister, and I each took turns putting on the glasses.
“Ok,” I said. “So you’re not as insane as we thought.”
“I really thought I was going mad!” my mother said.

I think that was the most dramatic part of our adventure.

OMG, that’s just like this one episode of Dawson’s Creek kinda. I’m just like Joey. Weird.

After that, we made our way to the Ritz for a snickity snackish type thing.
There was some Hatapalooza going on where all of these people came to drink tea in formal wear and hats.
It was cool. Although I felt really out of place. Kinda like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman BEFORE her whole make over. I hate being underdressed. One guy was wearing a fez hat though. That was pretty cool. I mean, you really don’t see fez hats anymore. I wish he had been wearing a smoking jacket too. That would have been awesome.. oh well. The fez hat was enough to hold me over.

I have pictures. Its the link that says "Puttin' on the Ritz" so go ahead and take a gander at your convenience.

Quote of the day:
Danielle: “So you’re not allowed to have anything you suck?”
Matt: “No, most definitely not.”
-- Danielle, asking about my palate expander food rules.

153 days until I get John off.