“Look! They’re blasting off!”

I don’t care what anyone says.
Halloween is awesome. It is the best holiday next to my birthday.
Free candy for putting together a costume? What is not to love?
It’s the one night that not being you, is you, but not you.. you know? It’s just fun. Leave me alone. I’m gonna be 110 and STILL trick-or-treating.

After 6 grueling hours chock full of learning, Stephanie Brown and I went around Phoenix to put together a pirate costume for her yesterday. During our adventure we managed not to smash the car, get told off at a Target, and finish my math homework. I didn’t realize they were so weird about playing with the bouncy balls and hockey sticks at Target.. They let you do it at Toys ‘R’ Us.

In other news..
In Cranbrook, British Columbia “about 3,000 people got the wrong results when they were tested for gonorrhea and chlamydia over an 18-month period, health officials say.” due to a “faulty diagnostic machine”. This is not good. Candians (except for Paul Shaffer and Sarah Chalke) are bad news I’m telling ya. Spreading STDs and “punk” music all over the place. Its just wrong. Anyway, as I’m all for safe sex, I selected this site as my Self Improvement Is Masturbation Site of The Day. Keep it clean and protected boys and girls.

This has been a message brought to you by: Yahoo! Health.

I’ve been so exhausted lately. I know why too. I go to bed too late.

I used to be the queen of late night. Bed at 1 AM? 2 AM? Wake up at 5 AM? Oh yea, every night. And then I’d get to school and I’d still be louder, meaner, and more obnoxious than everyone in the entire library, including the lesbian library aide who wears men’s clothing. This year though, not only have I been nicer to, well, pretty much everyone, but I’ve been insanely tired, AND my library table has been quiet. I used to be a bundle of energy last year, but not so much this yea.. and when I get home I just want to sleep.. Now here’s where my narrative gets really exhilarating-
I try to sleep at home.. and I can’t.

Sure, I can sleep in a hard desk under fluorescent lighting while a teacher (I won’t name names) is going on and on about some guy named Henry Clay.. but stick me on a couch in natural lighting or a nice comfortable bed and I’m wide awake.
Why? Why?

Yet, strangely.. with all of my lack of sleep.. My grades are really good this year.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have an American History test to study for.

Quote of the day:
Danielle: “Daddy, can we get another dog?”
My Dad: “The only way you’re getting another dog is if I leave.”
Danielle: “Mommy, when Daddy leaves, can we get two dogs?”
-- My sister tonight at dinner

“Its funnier when you know what’s going on.”

So I’m reading this article today on Yahoo! about how when you sleep growth hormones are released.

“He noted that sleep boosts the release of prolactin [pituitary hormone that stimulates and maintains the secretion of milk. Ew. I know] and growth hormone, two hormones that lab experiments suggest enhance the immune response.”

And this got me to thinking..
If I sleep more.. will my breasts grow larger?
My sister sleeps a lot and she has big breasts… Is there a connection?
I’m sure there are many factors.. genes and such.. but could more sleep actually = bigger bust size?
I never sleep and mine are small.

One day, I may do a study on this myself.

Anyway, my day wasn’t overly exciting.

I had a presentation in my American History class. It went pretty well I think. Wilkens gave us one of those “you did a great job tying it all together” comments at the end, so I take it we at least got a passing grade.. I hope.

I think my group owes it all to me..

In English we continued our Socratic Seminar on The Scarlet Letter.
I was drawing through most of the seminar and trying to keep my water bottle away from Craig who, despite knowing I was sick, wanted a drink.

I used to hate seminars so much.
Especially in Moline’s class.
The way she used to stare us all down and watch us. I hated that. Ugh.
I actually like them now though. It usually means two days of no homework.

After school I had NCYD (Democrat Club). Basically, all we did was sit there while Katie Davids took over the meeting talking about.. g0d only knows what because no one was listening. I brought up the fact that we all need shirts.

So far, we have these choices for a shirt slogan (and mad props to Jenna who was on a roll today);

Front: Ahh, the good ol’ days
Back: I’d do Bill too.

Front: Ahh, the good ol’ days
Back: I wonder if he was as good on the desk as he was in the desk?

Front: Ahh, the good ol’ days
Back: Pleasing our nation as much as he pleased Monica.

Sadly, none of these are school appropriate.. so we have to keep thinking..

We’ll probably end up with a plain white shirt that says NCYD on it and the year. Maybe if we’re lucky, we’ll get a snake too and then it can look just like the stugo shirts.

Driving home with Jenna in her shaggin’ wagon, Topher, we encountered a fake blonde woman on the road in a red Toyota going about 25 miles in a 40 mph zone while applying her make-up. Needless to say, Jenna and I were slightly annoyed..

Finally though, Jenna was able to get in front of the woman and, once she did, continued to slow down in front of her, just like blonde did before. As mean and horrible as it was.. it was pretty funny. The woman got fed up after a few minutes and ended up changing lanes to get in front of the painfully ugly Volvo.

Jenna and I then agreed that this meant that Jenna won because the blonde got annoyed.

I came home after that.. and here I am. Just like old times.

Quote of the day:
“No.. seriously? No you didn’t.”
-- Mrs. Murphy- Tick after I told her that I used Let’s Get Physical as my song to describe Hester, the main character, of The Scarlet Letter in a paper I had to write for English.

“That was so awesome.”

I’m sick.
How it happened when I wash my hands 900 times a day and carry hand sanitizer all the time.. is beyond me.

Partially, I blame Mrs. Henzelberg. She was sick about a week ago with similar symptoms. I’m not mad at her though. I’m not mad. These things happen.

I think its going away now. I was able to make it through an ENTIRE school day today, which has been accomplished since last Thursday.. so, I suppose I’m getting better-ish.

Searching the web yesterday night, I found this poor little site; www.Hollywoodiscalling.com.

I think it’s the saddest thing I’ve ever seen.
Previously “famous” people will call you for between 20-30 American dollars. (30-40 if you are outside the US) for an ENTIRE 30 seconds (or less or more depending on the celebrity)!

“Celebrities” include:
· That one guy from Survivor series 1.
· That blonde chick from NYPD Blue.
· The Barbi Twins.
· Some ex porn star.
· And a black guy!
· Plus many, many more!

Those are just the ones I remember. They have an entire list of people I’ve never heard of on that site. Its incredible that they’re doing this.

I decided if people who aren’t really famous (or were previously famous) can charge 20-30 dollars (30-40 if you’re outside the US) for a 30 second (or less or more depending on the celebrity) call.. why can’t I?

I mean, I have all of the qualifications-
I’m not famous.
I have a phone.
I need money.
I have a website.

So I’m going to start my own calling business.

If you would like me to call you, I charge 15-25 American dollars (25-35 if you’re outside the US- What a deal!). And I will talk to you for an entire 30 seconds (or less or more depending on how much I like you). Call timers begin at start of dialing. Whether it's for a special occasion or just for the fun of it, there's no better way to impress a client, a sweetheart, or a friend than to have me call. So place your order today!

NOTE: THESE ARE NOT PRE-RECORDED MESSAGES OR VOICE IMPERSONATORS. ALL CALLS ARE MADE LIVE BY ME!

I offer the following messages:

· Customized Message - $25.95
· Customized Romance Special - $25.95
· Call Just To Say Hello - $15.95
· Encouraging Motivational Call - $15.95
· Happy Birthday - $15.95
· Tell My Wife I Love Her - $15.95
· Tell My Girlfriend I Love Her - $15.95
· Tell My Husband I Love Him - $15.95
· Tell My Boyfriend I Love Him - $15.95
· Congratulations On Getting Married - $15.95
· Thank You For Your Business - $15.95
· Happy Anniversary - $15.95
· Congratulations On Being Employee Of The Month - $15.95
· Happy Marital Engagement - $15.95
· Merry Christmas - $15.95
· Happy Graduation - $15.95
· Congratulations On Having A Baby - $15.95
· Congratulations On Passing that AP History Test - $15.95
· Congratulations On Dropping/Joining IB - $15.95
· Happy Retirement - $15.95
· Happy Sweetest Day - $15.95
· Happy Father's Day - $15.95
· Happy Mother's Day - $15.95
· Congratulations, Someone Hates You - $15.95
· Congratulations On A Great Game- $15.95
· Congratulations On A Great Report Card -$15.95
· Happy Thanksgiving - $15.95
· Happy Valentine's Day - $15.95
· Happy New Year - $15.95
· Happy Halloween - $15.95
· Get Well Soon - $15.95

Just send me an e-mail with the name of the person I’m calling, the number, what you want me to say, and your credit card number. Sorry, I do not accept American Express. I will then call within 7 days at a time of my convenience.

All right kids- I’m off. I may not blog this weekend because I’ve got a ton of stuff to do, so if I don’t, try not to cry [Matt].

Quote of the day:
Stefi: I'm sure there are other really really super huge gay guys somewhere in Texas though.
Andrew: in prison?

-- Andrew and me discussing the gays in Texas.

“I have a bunny in my pocket?”

Not much to report today. Only slept in one class!

Its so bad that I don’t sleep, seriously. Just to keep myself awake during my 7th hour English test I got up and “blew” my nose.

Actually, in truth all I did was grab a tissue from Murphy-Tick’s desk, wiped my nose (which didn’t need wiping), and sat down again. I just needed movement.

Let’s see if I can get myself into bed before midnight tonight. That’s my goal.
I do it to myself really. Its so stupid.
I look at the clock when it reads something in the realm of 12:45 AM and I think “But.. I’m not tired..”
Yea, maybe I’m not tired because I slept through 4 of my classes?

Even if I do go to bed, I can’t sleep ever. Its so ridiculous.

Have you seen me lately? I look like a hung over version of Wednesday Adams. I have awful black circles. I really have to go to bed earlier before I wake up dead.


G0d.. what was the point of this post?


Quote of the day:
None. Too tired to be funny.

“Speed bump!”

[OK, I wrote this last night but didn’t post.]

Homecoming week is officially OVER WITH at North Canyon High School in rural Phoenix.
Are we rural? I don’t know. Oh well.

But its done.
Finished.
Oprah.

I couldn’t be happier.

I managed this year not to get ditched by my date (Umm.. because I DIDN’T HAVE ONE).

Yea, dateless.

But I was able to have a decent time. Dancing is fun. Mocking those who can’t dance is enjoyable as well.. even if the person you’re mocking is sitting one table over.
Sorry Kaisa. You looked realllly pretty last night.

I also managed not to come out hating people or anyone new.
I’ve heard many a dramatic retelling of friends hating friends, dates ditching dates, and boyfriends dumping their girlfriends at the homecoming dance. I’m glad I have nothing to say about any of those topics. I don’t know why exactly it always happens at homecoming, but it does. Almost always there’s someone who ends their night in tears. Que lastima. Glad its not me.

Homecoming weekend started Friday afternoon when I hung out with Jenna and we went oot and aboot to get her the perfect homecoming dress and shoes. We managed to do both in a fairly short amount of time. Then Stephanie Brown met up with us and we had caffeine injected beverages while we took pictures (They’ll be up soon.) of all of the thugs who hang out at the mall trying to pick up three freakishly white girls. They think they’re so cool driving around the PV Mall parking lot in their green Monte Carlos blasting Nelly… Personally, I was scared for my life.

Bored with the mall, as one tends to get, we motored over to Stephanie Brown’s “sunset” hill to take pictures of the setting sky like the emo girls we pretend to be. Since its private property, I was worried the [filthy rich] people who live on the hill were going to get mad at us when I saw them strolling over, Labrador Retrievers in tow.
“Girls,” Fake Blonde started, “Would you do me a favor?”
This is where I thought we were about to get the boot-
“When you go back down the hill can you try not to run over the bunnies? They’re living in the bushes by the grey house down the street and I’ve been feeding them every day. I just don’t want to see them dead. I’m all for the animals.” Her husband nodded. I was so relieved I wasn’t getting in trouble.
“Oh sure.” I said, “We’re both” I pointed at Jenna, “vegetarians. We wouldn’t want to see them dead either.”
‘Thank you girls.” She walked back to her house.
“BOTH VEGETARIANS?” Jenna asked me.
“Yup.” I said as I snapped a picture of her.

We went to the game after that and watched the Rattlers beat the.. um.. the.. other team! Yay!
Kafa. Kafo? I don’t remember the school. Its not important anyway. They lost.

Their cheerleaders were good though.

Best part of the game: The marching band.
Seriously. Its like the only reason I ever watch the Macy*s Thanksgiving Day parade too. Marching bands are awesome. I love the drums. That’s the best part. No wait, the uniforms are the best part. Just once I’d love to see a school buy something hip as their uniform. But no, they are always these tacky icky sparkly feather/hat things. Its so great. I love it. And the flag people? Color guard or whatever. Why are they there? I don’t know, but they’re great too. Marching bands and flag people. They’re amazing.

Saturday was the actual dance and I only had to help three people this year with the emergency “OMG WHY AM I EVEN GOING?!” issues. It all worked out in the end though. Everyone looked amazing. Even Miss Stephanie Brown who showed up in a dress.
Yes, pre-ops and post-ops, you heard me right- in a dress (and her boots).
She looked great. My dad took like 1000 pictures of us before we left.
However, Stephanie didn’t really stay for the dance, which is too bad.

Amanda’s party was festive as usual. Everyone came and was overly nice to each other and shrieked about how fabulous everyone looked. (I wore a dress this time and Jaime Meadows wasn’t there so I didn’t get the “Oh.. she wore a skirt….” comment at this event.) It was adorable. Pictures were taken and general merriment was had by all. Thank you Amanda (and your parents) for throwing the best pre-dance party for the second year in a row.

Other than the fact that my straps wouldn’t stop falling down and I thought I was gonna go insane, I had an enjoyable time last night. The dance was tacky as usual. Bad music. Awful decorations. The only slight mishap was in the beginning when they almost didn’t let Jenna in. Mrs. Jones (who went from blonde to brunette over the summer.. bad choice) insisted that Jenna must have her school I.D. (which she forgot conveniently in her car) to get into the dance. For three minutes Jenna and I argued with Mrs. Jones to just let her in, but ‘twas no use. Finally though, Mrs. Jones turned her head and started talking to another teacher and we just slipped past her.

The DJ was terrible whoever he was. He played a mixture of rap and.. swing? He was also a fan of the slow dance.. He did three in a row at one point. That’s all fine and good except slow dances require more touching and that’s so disgusting when you’re sweating like Richard Simmons to crappy (80s) music.

I totally sweat my ass off at the dance. Like it was seriously gross. It was sickening. I don’t think I’ve ever sweated (I looked it up Jenna, it is sweated) that much in my entire life. I completely disgusted myself. I came home and took a shower. I felt so gross. Ugh, ew. I apologize to everyone I danced with. I swear, I am not like that all the time. Ew.

The dance ended at 11, but Jenna and I stuck around for a while waiting for Andrew’s dad to pick him up. As Andrew was leaving without saying good-bye, this girl Whitney, whom I barely know, came up to me and asked me if I had a cell phone she could use.
“Oh, I’m sorry.” I said as I clutched my purse that contained my cell. “I don’t have one with me but I think I saw the girl over there with one.” I pointed to a random girl across the way who was making out with her boyfriend. “I think she’s sort of busy right now though..”
“Hmm, ok..” Whitney walked away.

I hate hate hate people who use people. She never says hi to me but suddenly she needs a cell phone and look, there I am.
Yea, no.
I share minutes with my mom. She can use someone else’s phone. I’m sorry.

I eventually poured myself into bed around 2:30 Am, but I couldn’t sleep.
I don’t know about you, but when I can’t sleep at night I am so hypersensitive. You hear and notice everything.
At first, when you can’t sleep, you try to psyche myself up for it.. you’re like “Ok, maybe if I sleep on my side, I’ll fall asleep! Yea, ok.” So you turn on your side.. then you turn on your other.. and that doesn’t help. So you decide to sleep on your floor. Maybe that’ll help.. but as you’re sitting on the floor with your eyes closed you hear the tree by your window move, the cat down the street meowing, a car door closing, someone’s sprinklers going on, and the sun rising. Its ridiculous. Eventually, I did fall asleep.
Around 6 AM.

And that was my Homecoming weekend.
The end.

Quote of the day:
“Stop suckling my breast.”
-- My response to Jenna when she was holding up a Mickey Mouse doll to my chest at the mall.

"Ellen."

Random interview with Matt time:

Stefi: when I say The President- what's the first thing that comes to your mind?
Matt: michael douglas
Stefi: well, that's not the answer we're looking for. Go beyond that.
Stefi: What do you think of?
Matt: um washington dc
Stefi: no the answer we're looking for is Clinton. Clinton.
Matt: bill clinton
Stefi: yes
Matt: woo!
Stefi: ok, when I say tootsie roll pop, what flavor do you think of?
Matt: chocolate
Matt: is that a flavor?
Stefi: no go past the chocolate
Stefi: go beyond that
Stefi: the actual
Matt: the blue one
Stefi: flavor
Stefi: grape? do I hear grape?
Matt: yes
Matt: grape
Stefi: yes, that's what we were looking for grape.
Stefi: that was nice. I'm proud of you
Matt: thanks
Stefi: another word that means delicious.
Stefi: what's another word that means delicious?
Matt: delectable
Stefi: no, go beyond that
Stefi: go past that
Matt: tasty
Stefi: nice try, but go past that
Stefi: above it
Matt: mouth watering
Stefi: we were looking for scrumptious
Stefi: ok, worst fruit pie
Stefi: what's the worst
Stefi: fruit pie
Matt: apple
Stefi: no that's wrong
Stefi: let's go beyond that
Stefi: what's beyond apple
Matt: but it is
Stefi: since apple is good
Stefi: that's wrong though
Stefi: try again
Matt: its not cherry
Stefi: no, cherry is good
Stefi: its not cherry
Matt: ok good
Matt: lemon
Stefi: there's no lemon, but amanda did say the same thing
Stefi: there's lemon custard..
Stefi: but that's not a fruit
Matt: lemon meringue
Stefi: I'm sorry, we were looking for blue berry
Stefi: blue berry
Matt: i like blue berry
Stefi: no you don't.
Stefi: no one does
Stefi: you're wrong
Stefi: I'm thinking of a cheese
Stefi: what cheese am I thinking of?
Matt: swiss
Stefi: no
Stefi: wrong
Matt: american
Stefi: yea, that's a winner
Matt: thats good too
Stefi: alright I'm proud of you.
Stefi: that's all

Quote of the day:
Stefi: say something that sounds almost funny and we'll pretend its the quote of the day
Matty: the smelly kid eddie in drama was going on about how he was wearing his class colors
Matty: i pointed out that he had all 4 class colors
Matty: he had the green fungus growing on his feet
Matty: he had the red blood stains on his torn shirt
Matty: he had the blue stain on his teeth from the popsicle he ate last night because he never brushed them
Matty: and he had the yellow on his jeans because he hasnt washed them... ever
Matty: he was quite spirited
Matty: unfortunately
Matty: he wears all of that every day
Matty: it never changes
Matty: so
Matty: its no different than any other day
Stefi: ok, I'll ask Lorenzi
Matty: i hate you

“You’re the girl who called the gay man dead.”

There was a slight mishap last night.

While sitting at home talking online, my mother, who was at my aunt’s, called me and said;
“Stephanie? Stephanie? Hello, this is your mother. Roy died!”
“What?!” I asked shocked.
“Yes, Roy died. Ok, I’m going to call your father. Good bye.” And she hung up.

Of course, in my moment of shock I immediately IMed all twelve people I had been talking to.
“ROY’S DEAD!” I IMed them like a lunatic then opened Yahoo! to double check.
Only.. Yahoo! didn’t have anything about Roy dying.. it had something on Arnold and what a complete pig he is.. but nothing on Roy dying.. so I opened CNN.. still nothing.. so I went to the Seigfield and Roy official site where I was greeted by this message;
“All of us in the Siegfried & Roy family are deeply saddened by Roy's injury at last Friday's performance. Roy remains in stable but critical condition at University Medical Center in Las Vegas.
For more than four decades, I have had the great privilege of standing at the side of this remarkable man, and I will continue to do so during this very challenging time. We are grateful and overwhelmed with the tremendous support we have received from around the world, and ask for your continued prayers and reflections.”

And I learned that their “Partnership formed between magician Siegfried Fischbacher and animal tamer Roy Horn on a cruise ship in 1957.” But nothing about a death.. so I started wondering whether or not my mother had checked her sources. I started to hope Roy really was dead just because I didn’t want another Mother Teresa Incident of ’95 (when I heard the news wrong and told everyone I knew that Mother Teresa died), which is awful. But after telling everyone I was speaking with at the time that Roy had died in big bold capital letters, I called my mother back and asked her who her sources were;

“Aunt Marilyn heard it.” She said.
“Ok.. where did Aunt Marilyn hear it from?” I was going to crack her like an egg.
“I heard it from Jenna [my.. how should I put this.. unclever-ish.. cousin],” I heard my Aunt say in the background.
“Jesus Christ, Mommy! Check your sources! Where’d she hear it from?”
“Her friend Jennifer..” my mother answered, “I’m sorry! I didn’t know! I was just in shock!” She apologized.

So it turned out Roy didn’t die and I should have checked sources before I even opened my mouth. Oh well. Good for him though.. you know.. keeping it real.

Quote of the day:
“She’s getting drilled before she even gets kissed.”
-- Matt talking about Amanda [and her ten cavities]

"See you when the heat's on, bitch!"

Stephanie Brown drew me.



I'm fasting today for the holiday.

Happy day off, goys.

Quote of the day:
None.

“See, you’re mad because you told her his name is Mike! You did it to yourself!”

I was sitting on the couch next to my mother when she says, “OK, I tried to send you a message to call home yesterday on your phone. Did you get it because it said it didn’t go through.”
“No, I didn’t get one.” I said.
“Well, look. It says something like ‘press 1-4: call Office. Or 2-4: call home so I pressed 2-4 call home and it said that it didn’t go through. I don’t know. Here let me call it.”
She put the call on speakerphone so I could listen.

“To leave a message press 1 for ‘call office’, 2 for 'call home'.”

She continued to press 2-4 and the message center said she had pressed an incorrect code. “See, I don’t know what I’m doing wrong..” She looked at me baffled.
“You’re only supposed to press 2. You pressed 2-4.” I explained to her.
“But it says to press 2-4.. oohhhhhhhhhhh….” And suddenly she understood.

I’ll have you know that under most circumstances my mother is very intelligent. She reads like nobody’s business and watches many a news show and/or documentary. How she got so confused over this phone bidniss is beyond me. But it made me laugh nonetheless. She’s really not dumb. Seriously, she’s not.
I'm off now.

P.S. I hate my life.

Quote of the day:
“STEFI I HAVE TO KISS RYAN!”
-- Amanda every two minutes since she found out she got the part of Rose in Bye Bye Birdie.