”Hot waiter, Yummy Yummy”

Let the holiday festivities begin.

‘Tis the season to be jolly and whatnot and it started off all right.
I mean, a 4 day weekend.. You can’t really go wrong there..
Except for when you have a load of HW to do and you leave it all for Sunday night but you do worry quite a bit about it over the other three days..

Thanksgiving was nice. My aunt, sparing us from a dry turkey and unkosher ham made in her own kitchen, made reservations at a restaurant at the Point Hilton Resort called Besides the Point.
Actually, dinner was really good. I was surprised at how many people actually went out to dinner for Thanksgiving. I’d never celebrated that way before so it was a bit odd, but my mother is making a proper Thanksgiving dinner for my family tomorrow night; so in a way, I get to celebrate twice.

The rest of the weekend was pretty much uneventful. I didn’t read Walden. I didn’t do my math HW. I didn’t begin my astronomy project, and I didn’t have a wild house party because my parents were out of town where I got completely smashed and then lost my virginity to some guy I think was named Jake. I went to PF changs though with Jenna, Andrew, StephanieBrown, and my sister. We only had to wait an hour and a half for a table though. Not bad on a Saturday night…

Everyone rendezvoused at my house to watch a marathon of bad Nickelodeon game shows that went off the air eons ago on the Nick Game Channel. Legends of the Hidden Temple (best ever), Scaredy Camp (English Nick show that’s awesome), and Guts and Global Guts.



Global Guts is by far the best Guts series. Why you ask? Well, first off, and most importantly- The Aggro Crag is not just the wimpy Aggro Crag anymore. In Global Guts it’s the Mega Aggro Crag. Totally different with a lot more fiberglass and rebar. Also, the piece of the Aggro Crag they get at the end is a lot better than the original dumb ass piece they got in the first series.



The show in general is spectacular. Regular kids (mostly ugly) from 96 countries come to Universal Studios- Florida to compete in the ultimate championship- and for a piece of the Mega Aggro Crag (formerly the Super Aggro Crag formerly the Aggro Crag). The Mega Aggro Crag is a mountain of thick smoke, falling snow, and crashing boulders. It’s the ultimate challenge. DO YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES?



The show is totally rigged too. OMG I love it. I could watch it all damn day. That and Get the Picture, also hosted by Mike O’Malley (but not Moe). Get the Picture is probably THE dumbest show on the Nick Games Network, but it’s a lot of fun to watch. You’re supposed to answer a bunch of trivia and solve some picture puzzles on the giant screen.

Now that they have the Games Network, I think Nick should come out with a network to host all of the old shows they don’t put on the air anymore. Like, Pete and Pete, Clarissa, Rocko, Hey Dude, Salute Your Shorts, Welcome Freshman, the OLD Ren and Stimpys.. Alex Mack. I really miss those shows. Old Nick was good. Now Nick sucks.

All That went totally downhill, the cartoons suck (except for Fairy Odd Parents), and what’s with this U PICK crap? Its worse than when they transformed Disney into Zoog Disney. Disney has some pretty good shows though. I won’t lie, I watch Lizzie Maguire and Even Stevens… Maybe even some That’s So Raven.. I admit it. I cross the line at Proud Family though. It ends there.

Damn, old TV was good.

Quote of the day:
“My g0d! You’re like a fucking machine!”
-- My Uncle Gary upon seeing my palate expander John.


4 DAYS UNTIL I GET JOHN OFF!

“Like a dork outta hell.”

Its over.
I’m so sad.
North Canyon’s Production of Bye Bye Birdie has passed us.
It was fantastical if I do say so myself.

Rehearsals.. and, I think I’m free to say this, were oh so very bad. I’d heard many a teacher say things like “worst they’d ever seen.”, “Mediocre” and so on and so forth.. but opening night, everything just kind of came together. Or, at least.. they did a hell of a lot better than they had during rehearsals. Ryan even knew like four of his lines.

Amory, big smelly (seriously) jerk that he is, decided that Friday night (opening night) he wouldn’t help out and would watch the show from the audience instead with Katie Davids (who couldn’t be more rat like if she tried), leaving the cast and crew scrambling around worried (because Mr. Bush hadn’t told them).

So they were only way too happy to see me. It was nice. I was greeted several times with “THANK G0D!” before I actually got backstage.

Mikol, spotting Amory in the audience was absolutely livid and let him have it ten minutes to show time. This annoyed Katie (that rat) who demanded her money back. In the end, Amory didn’t end up helping us at all Friday night and this resulted in Mr. Bush calling Amory a “Stupid Asshole” more than once over the headset during the show that night.

I picked up the task as front curtain girl/girl with the headset. Jenna Stokes was my assistant, back curtain girl, and telephone. Together we made magic (and fun of Amory).

Mr. Bush is so funny over the headset. It was just him, me, this girl Sheryl, Mikol, and Heather over the headset talking up a storm about the cast and crew, and about fruit roll ups and chewy cookies (Mr. Bush swears that if you eat a fruit roll up wrapped around an oatmeal cookie its “heaven”.) during the show. Mikol and I suggested that we should record a session and release it with the video as sort of a director’s commentary like on DVDs. Its too bad that didn’t happen. We were super funny.

All of us were pretty stressed opening night. We didn’t know what to expect, especially without Amory there, but by the second night we were all a lot more relaxed and jovial. Amory showed up the second night and the crew had absolutely no qualms about being as mean as we possibly could to him. When I showed up he had taken his stance wearing the headphones and being all moody at the side of the stage.

“Hey, Amory.” I said, “You don’t get to wear the big boy head phones anymore. Give it up.” This wasn’t exactly what I had practiced in the car with Jenna. That version was “Hey, Amory. You don’t get to tell me what to do anymore, Mr. Man.” I didn’t say that because I realized he didn’t tell me what to do to begin with..
He looked at me like I was nuts but didn’t flinch as he handed the head set over.
“I get to boss you around tonight.” I informed him as I put the headset on. “You’ll be doing curtains.”

Amory gave me a look like he wanted to hit me. I bet he would have if Jenna hadn’t been there to witness it.

“Hey Mikol.” I said into the headset.
“Hey Stephanie. Good!” he sounded happy that it was me instead of Amory on the headset again.

“You guys are being passive aggressive about this whole thing. If you’re mad just say it.” Amory was pacing.
“But its much more fun to just annoy you.” I replied to Amory.
“Tell Amory to shut the hell up.” Mikol whined into the headset.
“Amory, Mikol says shut the fuck up.” I relayed back.
“I said ‘hell’”, Mikol corrected.
“I know,” I said, “But I thought the F word worked better.”
“I agree.” Heather laughed.
“Yea, ok. That works.” Mikol answered.

Mr. Bush finally got on the headset about five minutes to show time. He always greets us the same way on the headset;
“Goooood evening everyone.”
And we all reply back “Good evening Mr. Bush.” It just makes me laugh. Maybe not so much you guys, you weren’t there.. but its funny. Believe me. Just the way he says it.. you have to be there.

Mr. Bush sent down some fruit roll ups and cookies for the back stage crew on the second night, but we decided Amory shouldn’t be allowed to have any. I kept saying to him things like, “Amory, do you want a cookie?” and as he’d go to reach for it I’d snatch it away and say “No! You can’t have one!” Then I’d offer one to whoever was closest to me and let them have it. He fell for that like three times. Moron. We asked him to do stupid stuff for us too, like taking out the trash or getting more snacks. This killed him. It was great.

(Also, I did not enjoy the fruit roll up wrapped around a cookie. That was too much for me. Jenna and I got such a buzz from the sugar. It was ridiculous. We were bouncing off of the walls.)

The show finally ended and there weren’t any tears, but everyone was pretty gosh darn sad. I was sad and I had only gone to about 5 rehearsals. The five of us on the headphones all said our goodbyes and we promised to do tech again for the next show.

We went to Denny’s after the play was over. That was fun. I wasn’t even going to go, but at last minute decided to. We sang, we laughed, we ate. It was nice. I felt bad for all of the old people around us.

I have pictures coming soon and video if I can ever figure out how to stick that on the site.

Quote of the day:
“Stephanie gives good headset. Oh.. I can just see that sprawled on the bathroom walls tomorrow.”
-- Mr. Bush saying my headset personality is better than Amory’s (Who never spoke on the headset, just listened.).

“I’m afraid I’ll have a lapse of proper judgment.”

Look, twice in one week. Whattya think of dat?

My weekend was pretty basic.

Saturday night I went to the movies with StephanieBrown and Jenna. We went to see the Bill Murray movie Lost in Translation. I liked it. I thought it was really good and I am now suggesting it to people. It was cool to go with StephanieBrown because she takes Japanese class and the movie is set in Tokyo so whenever they were speaking Japanese in the film, she’d tell me what they were saying. It made me feel special.

After the movie, we dropped by Target to say hello to Matt who was working that night. We stayed and talked while he was on his break and then we left to go back to my house.

On the way back to our car we were stopped by an Indian woman holding a bag chock full of plastic flowers.
“Excuse me, girls? Do you have it in your hearts to spare a dollar to buy a rose so that I can buy food for my one year old baby?”
The three of us looked at each other. None of us had any money.
She went on, “Please? It is only a dollar and-”
StephanieBrown dug deep down into her pockets, “Here. Its like, 50 cents.” She gave it to the lady.
“Thank you very much! G0d bless you.” She said as she walked away from us.
“Ok, what I wanna know..” I said, always the skeptic, “Is why the woman had the ability to buy about 100 plastic flowers.. but not to fill out a job application at Target. I mean, she had the money to buy the flowers.. she could have bought food with that. Its not like she grew the plastic flowers herself.”
“Yea, no kidding.” Jenna chirped in.
“I hope she doesn’t buy liquor with her earnings.” I said.
“She probably will.” StephanieBrown answered. “But I like to give people the benefit of the doubt.”

And now for my Anne Frank quote to sum this all up:
“I believe- in spite of everything- that people are truly good at heart.”

But come on, she could have applied to some places.

We went back to my house after that, but StephanieBrown left to go see her North High School friends, so it was just Jenna and me after that. And then my night ended.

Sunday wasn’t all that exciting either. I spent it working on an essay and other various homework assignments. I did take a break to go out to dinner with my Uncle Jon and his friend John though, and that was fun because I hadn’t seen them in so long. Unfortunately however, at the restaurant that we ate at (Steamers), my father’s truck was broken into and my uncle’s digital camera and briefcase were stolen, which was horrible.

“Looks like someone has a case of the Mondays!”
Oh good lord how I hate that expression. It’s right up there with “hump day” and “T.G.I.F.” I only heard one teacher actually say that expression today thankfully, and it was the math teacher next door to Mrs. Sheppard. In any case, for some reason, a majority of my friends were upset on this crisp Monday morning and I saw a lot of grumpy people roaming the halls.

Today wasn’t terrible for me, strangely enough. I was (and still am) dead tired and dragged myself from class to class until my mom called me at lunch and said she had to pick me up early because she was going to Los Angeles for the day. I would only be absent from English and its not like I’d actually get to present my speech today, so I figured it was ok. I wasn’t missing much of anything except maybe one more overly detailed speech about anti- abortion. And gee wiz, I think I can skip that.

Quote of the day:
StephanieBrown: “I don’t see what the big deal is!”
Stefi: “Because, normal people shower every day.”
Jenna: “Its ok to conform in certain situations!”
-- Jenna and me giving StephanieBrown a lecture on why she should shower every single day.

“Here’s my stretch!”

I was woken up this morning by a screaming father. I can’t tell you how distressing that is. Apparently, my alarm had gone off at 5:00 AM, and this upset my father (who, mind you, gets up at 5 AM anyway so he was already up, but still in his room.) very much. For once, I was actually sleeping in my own room (I usually end up asleep on the couch Friday nights) and I didn’t even hear it. I slept right through it. He’s the only one who ever hears it, even during the week. My mom sleeps in the same room as him, and she didn’t wake up because of it. My sister across the hall didn’t hear it either (but she sleeps through just about anything.). And let me remind you again, he was up ANYWAY, but my alarm going off really upset him for some reason. Probably because I wake up to Britney Spears… So in short- after being yelled at, I’m also “punished” (we don’t say grounded in my house) because I “have no consideration.”

Honest to g0d, I don’t leave my alarm set for 5 AM to spite him. It usually is left set because the previous morning I didn’t wake up to it at 5, and was instead woken up at 6 AM by my dad long after my alarm turned itself off. I’m too tired to hear it, so I sleep right through it.. which is probably not a good thing and why I keep it pretty loud. Just in case there’s a chance I might hear it... In any event, I just didn’t remember to shut it off, and why should he care anyway? He was already up after all.

Originally, my father said “NO COMPUTER!” to which I replied, “I have an essay!” That’s actually true this weekend (Thanks Wilkens..), but anytime he says “NO COMPUTER!”, which is pretty much his punishment for everything from looking at him wrong to not emptying the dishwasher, I have a reflex to say “I have an essay!” to which he normally replies, “I don’t give a damn! Hand write it!” (Once we had an entire argument about how he didn’t care that I had an essay that was mandatory to be typed, and that he would write a letter to the teacher explaining the situation. Thankfully, my mother wasn’t sleeping during this argument and was able to tell my father to shut up. Sometimes, he gets a tad carried away…).

In the end, my punishment is to create my own punishment.. (how clever..) so I decided it will be to not let Jenna pay for my Starbucks for an entire week and to write my father an apology letter.

Dear Daddy,
I’m sorry my alarm went off and bothered you. Next time I’ll be sure to put a Beatles CD in the alarm clock instead of Britney. Then maybe you won’t get as mad.

Love,

Stephanie

P.S. You have ears like a frickin’ bat.


Ok, that’s taken care of.

Yesterday was a nice day.

I FINALLY got my peers merchandise. I feel like a mouseketeer because the shirt and the sweatshirt I bought both have my name stitched onto the front, but they’re so pretty. I like them.

In second hour, my Spanish class was able to distract Maestra long enough for me to finish my American History homework. You mention nuns and she just goes off. She’s so funny though. After 15 minutes she’d say something like “Ok, ok, we can’t talk about me anymore. Back to our vocab!” and some girl would raise her hand and go “But I just have one more question!” and then ask her something about going to a private school in Missouri and Maestra would go off for another 20 minutes. It’s the funniest thing to watch her get excited about telling her life story. People just love to talk about themselves. I enjoyed listening though. She’s entertaining. Plus, anything is better than actually learning something.

Lunch was fun. After that ridiculous fire alarm (what was that all about anyway?) I went up to Henzelberg’s room to practice my speech for Murphy-Tick’s English class with StephanieBrown, and we ended up spending the better part of the lunch hour gossiping with her and a woman who I believe was Ms. Standige. However, I have no idea how to spell her name.. and I have no clue if that was even her. I just think it was, if I remember correctly. Everyone enjoyed my speech though, so I was happy. Mrs. Henzelberg is so funny. I like talking to her.

After school Jenna and I went to the Bye Bye Birdie play rehearsal to support our friends who are in the play (Plus we’re both crew members. Not that we do much of anything… if you call clapping after each rehearsed song doing much). My friends are doing fabulous and I’m proud of you all. Keep it up. Although, it’s a little odd to see faculty members faint at the site of Andrew as Conrad Birdie, but I think that’s what makes it so darn entertaining. And a note to everyone who plans to see the play: Go Friday. Not Saturday. Just some advice..

Following rehearsal, Jenna and I went back to her house to visit her dog Gracie, oh yea, and her family (even though Jenna would never admit that we were there to see them too). We ended up going out to dinner at Garcia’s with them and I had a good time. I like her family. Yes, Jenna, I even like you brother.

We went and saw Elf after that. Will Farrell is so funny. I suggest the movie to everyone.

And that pretty much concluded my evening.

I was going to go to rehearsals today for the play again, but my mom’s not home, so I’m stuck here. I’ll go to Monday’s rehearsal instead and hopefully they won’t make me do much of anything. That’s awful.. I signed up to be a crew member and I just keep hoping Mr. Bush doesn’t ask me to do stuff..

I guess I’ll do some homework now then.

Quote of the day:
“Its kind of sick to think you’re sitting on someone else’s Chlamydia.”
-- Chris during his speech about Bathroom sanitation.

For those of you angry at the fact that I barely wrote anything in my newest post, I’ll try to write more at a more convenient time.

Thank you,
Management

"The sun is the size of a giant baseball."

Greetings!
I am back.
Yes, its true, my vacation has ended.

I really had it in me to write about how fantastic and fabulous I am and my amazing adventures, but alas, I was too tired and/or too busy, and I chose to work on school work or.. watch TiVoed episodes of Will and Grace instead. And this took up a great majority of my time.

But here I am, just like old times.
I'm rather moved.

I was late to school on this beautiful drizzly morning. (G0d, I love when it rains.)
I showed up around the beginning of third hour only to be sent straight to sweep.
For those of you who don't know what sweep is- it's a small room that is basically like detention where they shove all of the bad, late, and ISS kids who inhabit the school and its guarded by the dreaded Eunice.



I'd never been there before. It took me three years to finally make it into sweep.
I don't really want to go back again.

I spent my 38 minutes of sweep doodling in my notebook and trying to send messages via ESP to Spike who was sitting behind me. I don't think it worked very well. I also had the juicy fruit jingle stuck in my head the entire time.
"The taste, the taste that's gonna mooooove ya."

Next time I'm late I'm not even going to bother going to the office to sign in just so I can go to sweep. That's so dumb. I'll just go to the library.

Anyway, in other news-
I had my very first peer mediation today!

I got to play the "bad mediator" it was awesome.
That's all I can say though. Its strictly confidential.

Also; congratulations to Mrs. Henzelberg! She's pregnant! Yay!

And that concludes our broadcast day.

Quote of the day:
Stefi: "Miss Sandberg is pregnant!"
Andrew: "Really? That?s great! ::pause:: Ew that means she had sex!"
-- Andrew reacting to Mrs. Henzelberg's news the same way I did.

By the way: Credit must be shared with Matt because he helped with the Barbie Porn.

Check out the new pictures and Barbie porn.

Real blog coming soon. I swear.

I will blog tomorrow.
Really.
I promise.

“Your clothes keep coming off.”

All of you guys who got drunk, went to the game, or stayed home to give out candy really missed out last night.

Unless you got laid. Then the night wasn’t a total loss.

In any event, I had fun last night. I dressed up as Wednesday Adams and went around trick-or-treating in my Aunt Polly’s neighborhood with Jenna (Avril Lavigne), Stephanie Brown (A skanky pirate), and my sister Danielle (Hermione Granger from Harry Potter). We were followed in the beginning for about 20 minutes by a group of middle school boys, but I think Stephanie Brown scared them off with her pirate attitude.

Some of you might say that 16 is a bit too old to go trick-or-treating. However, luckily for me, due to my lack of breasts and braided hair, I did look about 10 last night. Jenna, unfortunately, did look 25.

An hour into our festive night, we happened upon some older (thinking about 65 here) woman’s house. We went through the whole ordeal; rang the doorbell, said trick-or-treat, she opened her screen door, took one look at Jenna and said “OH MY G0D!” then, realizing what she said, quickly corrected herself, “I mean, take as much as you want..” she held the bowl out to us.

“Can you believe that?” Jenna asked us after we were away from the house, but we were too busy laughing to give her a decent answer. Personally, I think Jenna frightened the woman because she’s 5’9” and the woman was about 2 ft tall. Sure, Jenna’s taller than both me and Stephanie Brown put together, but my Aunt Polly is 5’10” and all of my aunt’s friends are either her height or taller. Jenna, be proud of your height. I’d rather be tall than stumpy any day.

We didn’t really have any odd occurrences at any other houses. There was one older couple who were giving out peanuts in the shell, apples, or itty-bitty teeny tiny snickers. I honestly thought they were joking until they showed us the bowls.

We all chose apples for the hell of it, but my mom wouldn’t let us eat them.

Another woman was going crazy with the silly string. She raced after us to spray us down. I was the only one out of my group who managed to get away unharmed and clean.

Later that night, we all realized we were being followed by yet another group. This time they were drunken high school boys and there were about eight or nine of them. At first, it was all fun and games because they weren’t really bothering us, but then they started actually trying to talk to us about insane things, and more importantly- they were throwing things at my sister. We tried to get away from them, but they started waiting for us at houses and shouting out their numbers. Finally, we decided that it was time to go home. The guys were becoming more aggressive and it was more scary than fun, so I called my dad to come pick us up.

After our ordeal, we traded candy with my little cousin Michael and his obnoxious friend whose name sounded like Asthma and returned to my house to mess around until Jenna had to go home.

Once Jenna left us, my mom and I went over to Stephanie Brown’s house and joined her little block party festivities for a bit where it was confusing because every time someone said “Steph” we’d both turn around. Then my mom and I went home and I was so tired, I don’t know what I did until I feel asleep. I remember waking up at 3 AM in my clothes though, so I changed and went back to sleep. And that was my Halloween. I’d like to be the first to say that the holiday season has now officially begun.

Quote(s) of the day:
“You’re completely useless to me, but you do give the gift of laughter.”
-- My older cousin Michael from NYC (I have a lot of cousins named Michael).

Stefi: “I mean you never see fat girl magazines.”
Stephanie: “No, but they probably have them.”
Stefi: “Oh yea, I forgot. Oprah Magazine.”
-- Stephanie Brown and me discussing models in the magazines.